But I Don't Want to be a Sensei!
by Sukki18
Summary: Uchiha Yanagi is very content with her life as a Konoha jounin. Then her clan leader gets the idea to make her his son's jounin sensei and suddenly Yanagi's relatively peaceful life is turned upside down. Now she's having to teach three brats the ninja way... or are they teaching her? Non-Massacre
1. Of Arrogant Uncles and Annoying Brothers

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... now ain't THAT a surprise?

Another story idea... kill me please. -.-

Rules of change: Read and find out! MWAHAHAHA

Since I haven't watched the first Naruto in... oh about four to five years, yeah I'm probably not going to be exactly correct in this story. But I'll try my best to stay in canon... with a few changes here and there because I think they'd work better...

BTW: To those who've read my other stories, I'm just going to warn you that this story has a bit more cussing in it. It just fits the character better.

Also. I feel like I should just say it: I am a firm supporter of canon Team 7. This story is just... something I feel like I have to write. (you know those stories that won't leave you alone no matter what you do... yeah this is one of them)

vvv

My mouth dropped open as I regarded my clan leader, "You want me to do _what_?!" I screeched. Fugaku-sama didn't seem impressed by my breech in conduct. Feeling sheepish under his fierce gaze, I ducked my head. Damn the Uchiha Main Branch and their ability to cower anyone with a look. Usually I was unaffected by glares, being an Uchiha and all, but Fugaku and his family seemed to be the exception to that rule.

"I will not repeat myself." Fugaku-sama stated, crossing his arms and leveling a nasty look at me. Of course he wouldn't. My clan leader may have had a change of heart but he was still an arrogant asshole... not that I'd ever tell him that. I wasn't _that_ insane, not matter what other people said.

Still, my common sense didn't prevent me from keeping my mouth shut; Nii-san always did say that I had no concept of the art. Funny, since it was coming from _him,_ "Well you damn well better repeat yourself, because I thought I heard you say that you want me to babysit your brat!" I snapped. I got extreme satisfaction in seeing Fugaku's eyes widen at my blatant disrespect. Whatever punishment I was about to receive was worth it.

Fugaku-sama's Sharingan flashed, but being an Uchiha gave me some resistance to the intimidation of glowing red eyes. "You will not take that tone with me, Uchiha Yanagi, is that understood?" Fugaku ground out in that stern voice of his. Some deaf idiot might call it fatherly, but I could hear the cold undertone. If I stepped out of line again, I would probably be denounced as an Uchiha, if I was that lucky.

I decided not to push my luck.

I bowed low, "Apologizes, Uchiha-sama, I did not mean to offend." I said in a false humble voice. Fugaku and I both knew that I had meant every word out of my mouth. I wasn't known as blunt and opinionated for nothing. Still, it was all a matter of pride. If I apologized then I would get an explanation from the infuriating man. That was the unspoken rule.

Fugaku made me grovel a moment longer before sighing. "I want you to be a jounin sensei." He stated again. Right off the bat, another sucker-punch. My clan leader didn't believe in sugarcoating words, that much was true.

I bit my lip to keep the retort that was begging to be said in.

"My eldest son's efforts to bring the Uchiha clan closer to the village are starting to fall short." No surprise there, Konohagakure didn't trust the Uchiha clan for whatever absurd reason, and visa-versa. Five years ago the Uchiha clan had planned a coup d'état, I still do not understand the reasoning behind the Uchiha's actions. Luckily for the Uchiha clan, Fugaku's eldest son Itachi, and his friend Shisui, managed to stop the coup d'état before anything happened. Since then, the Uchiha and Konoha have been working hard to make past amends.

And according to Fugaku, those amends weren't doing jack.

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked, struggling hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I was already in hot water as it was. I didn't need to accidentally take a flying leap over the edge. The man gave me a displeased scowl, which I had a suspicion that he was just doing it because he wanted to. Fugaku seemed to be that kind of man.

"The Hokage has recently thought up of a new plan to bring the clan closer to the village. We are to implement our teachings into the new generation that is graduating from the Academy. You are to be the first Uchiha jounin sensei." Was it bad that this village had been around for a long time and I was the _first_ ever Uchiha to be a sensei? I wanted to roll my eyes, but didn't. I could see through that false pride in a heartbeat. And I didn't need my Sharingan to do that.

I sat back, seeing no need to keep bowing like some groveling peasant, and crossed my arms, "I still don't see what this has to do with me. Why not someone else? Itachi-san, perhaps. I'm sure he'd love to teach his younger brother." Okay, the sarcasm was starting to show.

"It is because of Itachi's relation to Sasuke that he is unable to be a jounin sensei." And my relation to Sasuke wasn't? I was his first cousin, damn it! I couldn't help but notice that Fugaku failed to mention why _I_ was the person chosen to be the glorious Uchiha sensei.

Sometimes I think Fugaku should have been named 'weasel' instead of his eldest son.

Before I could open my mouth, Fugaku waved his hand and turned his head away to find something new to occupy his attention, "Go. The class graduates tomorrow, you are to pick your team up the day after. The information packet will be sent to your house." Damn old codger. He just had to change the subject before I could grill him some more. I gave a smart, slightly mocking, bow and marched out of the room. I just hoped that nothing else bad happened.

Apparently it wasn't my lucky day.

"Oof!" I ran smack into a hard body. Damn it, I wanted to get home and be as sarcastic and hateful as I wanted, not playing nice to more pompous Uchiha men! I took a step back and glared up at the person I had run into. I groaned wordlessly when I saw who it was and ground my teeth together so I wouldn't speak.

Shisui gave me an easy smile, "Yanagi..." He acknowledged with an amused tone. His dark eyes darted to the room I had just exited, then back to me, "Have a good argument?" The man asked teasingly. If anyone knew I liked arguing with my betters, it was Shisui. Sometimes I think he was the reason why I argued so much. I glared at him and made to walk past him, but he stepped in my path, "Ah, don't be mean, Yagi... You know I love you." Shisui whined in a playful tone.

I intensified my glare and punched Shisui in the gut. I was the only person allowed to physically hit Uchiha Shisui and get away with it, and I took advantage of my privileges. Like usual, Shisui took the blow with a good-natured chuckle, "Still giving me the silent treatment, eh? Yagi, I think you hold the record for holding grudges."

My jaw worked as I thought about breaking my five year silence towards the goofy Uchiha. His comment did deserve a response, but if I did say something he would only tease me about breaking my silence. I really wanted to slap him for using that stupid childhood name too, we weren't kids anymore; but I doubt Shisui would be very amused with a slap to the face. Hitting yes, slapping... not so much.

I was saved from making the choice when Fugaku-sama called from inside his office, "Shisui!" The old codger barked like the badger he was. Still, he saved me from dealing with the stupid Uchiha before me, so I'd let him off the hook this one time. I gave Shisui a self-satisfied smirk, which he returned with a wink and a mocking little bow, as I dodged around the twenty-three year old man and took off like there was no tomorrow.

Of all the Uchiha, Shisui was probably the one who annoyed me the most, even more so than my brother.

vvv

"YANAGI! Close the damn door!" My brother screeched like an old wife when I walked in the house we lived in. I rolled my eyes and slammed the door shut. I had just walked in and he was acting like I had left the door open for hours, not mere seconds.

"I didn't have the chance before you started yelling at me!" I yelled back as I sat down to take off my sandals. Calmly I put the black shoes neatly on the floor where I could shove my feet in them if I was in a hurry and kicked Nii-san's shoes out of the way. My brother was a slob and he proudly admitted to it. There was a reason why I didn't get along with him, we were too different; we were almost opposite in every way.

Obito cursed and stomped into the living room, his one eye livid, "You're late and I'm hungry. Get in the kitchen!" Nii-san said, half playfully, throwing his head back and pointing a rigid finger towards the kitchen.

"Go shove ramen down your throat. I'm not cooking." I hissed as I started for my room. I wasn't Obito's slave, there was no way I was going to do anything I didn't want to.

Of course Obito wasn't going to have any of that. Before I could get three feet from him, Nii-san had his arms wrapped around my waist and was bodily dragging me to the kitchen. "Food, now! Smartass comments later." He ordered. I made sure to fight him all the way, if Obito was determined to get me to cook, he was going to regret every second of it.

I wondered if Kakashi left that poison around from the last mission...

"I already got rid of the poison. Nice try." Obito said dully as he shoved me through the doorway to the kitchen. I groaned, he knew me too well. "Now do your womanly duties!"

My eyes narrowed as I glared at my brother, "Does that include providing someone with children?" I asked sarcastically. I could predict what Obito would do. He would go into a tirade how no man was to touch me until I was forty, and even then it was to be with a fifty foot pole. My brother was more overprotective than a father would be. No father in their right mind would attempt to order a twenty-one year old jounin around, but Obito did and he somehow got away with it. The only people of the male persuasion who were allowed withing a ten foot radius of me when Nii-san was around was himself and Kakashi, who was basically another brother to me–I only liked him more.

As I predicted, Obito immediately went on defense, "Why, has anyone asked? Cuz I'll skin them alive, castrate them with a rusty kunai, rip their spine out and choke them with it! And in that order!"

I rolled my eyes at my brother's exuberant behavior as I bent down to dig around in the cupboards before I found the pot I wanted. "Alright, Nii-san, don't go on another man hunt. The Hokage said no more."

Obito crossed his arms with a pout, "I didn't hurt that one guy _that_ bad..." He grumbled.

"You put him in the hospital!"

"He's the one who tripped."

"And fell off the roof that you had cornered him on."

"It's his own fault, he shouldn't have tried to run."

My right eye twitched as I turned away and slammed the pot down on the stove, just pretending that the stove was Obito's head and I was bashing it in. My anger still not spent, I went around the kitchen making Miso soup and imagining every ingredient I used was Obito's head. I especially liked it when I was dicing the green onions. My brother was too protective when it came to my romantic life–though, thanks to Obito, my romantic life was practically nonexistent. The man that had fallen off the building during Obito's last man hunt hadn't even been really into me. He was just flirting for the sake of flirting. I could see that in his eyes. But of course my brother didn't bother to think about it. He just charged in without thinking.

And people wondered why I didn't like my brother.

Obito, being the perceptive Uchiha that he was, said, "Stop beating my imaginary head in. Kakashi-baka is coming to dinner."

"And what does Kakashi coming over have to do with me crushing your skull?" I asked testily.

For the first time since I had been home, Obito finally cracked a smile. It wasn't as goofy as it could be, more cynical, "Because Kakashi-baka might try and make it into a reality! You're making Miso soup right?" Miso soup was the only dish that I could make that met Kakashi's snooty taste buds. I swear the man was more picky than Fugaku-sama, who was legendary when it came to being a picky eater.

"I was going to make it anyway. It's easy and fast and you hate it." I snapped playfully. Obito only pouted, which meant he knew I was teasing. If he thought I had been serious we would already be fighting again.

Nii-san reached over and tugged hard on my ponytail, "Watch it brat, or I might handcuff you to Shisui." I shivered at the thought. Being handcuffed to someone I wasn't speaking to wouldn't be fun, especially since they would do everything in their power to make me talk. Obito laughed at my expression of horror, "Why do you hate him anyway?" He asked.

I shot Nii-san a glare, "I don't hate Shisui... he just reminds me of you too much."

Obito gave a sly smile, "So you do hate him." He stated.

"No, I don't. I hate his personality."

"That's the same as hating him."

"Uchiha Obito, do _not_ incur my wrath, it will be the end of you!"

Obito smirked and sang teasingly, "You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!" He barely dodged the ladle I threw at him, considering it was at point blank I was rather impressed by my brother's evading skills. We were too busy glaring at each other now to pay attention to where the ladle went.

"Yo! Is this a bad time?" Kakashi's voice said behind Obito. My eyes widened as I looked over my brother's shoulder at his best friend and old teammate. He was twirling the ladle around his right index finger, his only visible eye closed in an eye-smile. Behind Kakashi, Rin was giggling at the scene before her, her fingers pressed against her lips.

Obito immediately spun around at the sound of Kakashi's voice, his single eye zeroing in on Rin. I sighed, though Obito said he was over Rin I suspected my brother still loved the twit. I never really liked her that much. She was nice and friendly, I admit; but there was no way she could be oblivious to my brother's aberrant affection, not without having to be a nitwit. So either she was stupid for not noticing that Obito loved her, or cruel enough to never dissuade him. I might not like my brother as some siblings did, but I still cared for him on some degree. And I didn't like how Rin treated him throughout their genin days. But for the sake of my brother's feelings, I never voiced my opinions.

This silence was getting awkward as Obito just stared at Rin...

_BONG!_

"Ouch! Yanagi, what the hell was that for?!" Obito shouted, clutching the back of his head as he turned to glare at me. I smiled sweetly as I could and tossed the dented metal cooking spoon into the trash. Just because I cared for my brother's feelings to a degree didn't mean anything. I was still going to abuse my power as the younger sister.

"Can't I be a pest without any reason?" I asked innocently as I poured four bowls of Miso soup and passed them out among the three former members of Team Minato, keeping one for myself. From the way Nii-san's eye narrowed I knew his answer was 'no I couldn't'. I grinned evilly at him, my brother didn't have a say in what I did anyway. If I wanted to hit him in the back of the head with a metal spoon, I would.

Kakashi sighed at our antics, "You two are idiots." He said dully, the cheerful nature he had been sporting disappearing to be replaced with his true personality. Obito of course started yelling at Kakashi while I just rolled my eyes. I loved to argue, but only when I got a reaction out of people. Kakashi wouldn't react if I lit his clothes on fire.

I listened mildly as the two exchanged insults, Kakashi's were more subtle than Obito's, sipping periodically from my bowl. It was hard to believe that those two men were part of Konoha's elite ninja. They bickered like five year olds. I glanced over at Rin to see her right eye twitching in irritation. Ever since that S-ranked mission years ago during the Third Shinobi War, her personality had gone from timid and sweet to more assertive. My mouth twitched upwards, I could hardly remember the days when Rin unsuccessfully tried to reason with Kakashi and Obito. Now however...

The brown haired woman reached across the table and grabbed both men by their ears, pulling hard, "Would you two behave?!" She snapped when she had their attention. Kakashi jerked his ear from her grasp and glared at her. Obito only whined like the baby he was. Soon all three of them were arguing. I snorted into my bowl. If there was one thing that could be said about my brother and his friends, it was they knew how to keep me entertained.

Just as Obito threw the first kunai–which was a regular occurrence among these three–there was a knock at the door. All four of us stopped what we were doing to look at the door in confusion. It was rare that Obito or I got any visitors, much less ones who actually knocked on the door instead of walking in like they owned the place. After the scandal about Nii-san refusing to take his left sharingan back from Kakashi, the Uchiha clan pretty much isolated Obito and me.

I went to answer the door and was surprised to see a Konoha official, not an Uchiha, standing there looking nervous. I really didn't blame him, Obito and I were known for our short tempers and brash behavior. We weren't exactly typical Uchiha clan members in that sense. Because of our reputation, I saw no need to be polite, "What do you want?" I asked shortly.

The Konoha nin gulped and shoved a moderately thick packet at me, "Meeting is tomorrow at the Hokage's office. Good day, Uchiha-san." The man said quickly then high tailed it out of there.

Obito was on my case the second I closed the door, "What's all that about? Why does the Hokage want you? Speak, imoto!" My brother said his single eye staring intensely at the packet in my hands. I shoved past him, ignoring his questions. If Obito knew that Fugaku-sama was forcing me to be a jounin sensei, I would never hear the end of it.

I forgot about Kakashi.

"You're going to be a jounin sensei?" The white haired nin asked curiously. He recognized the packet, having been almost a jounin sensei himself a couple of occasions. Kakashi always failed the potential genin and went back to being an ANBU captain. He was infamous for failing ever single student. I didn't know why the Hokage continuously tried to make Kakashi a sensei when he clearly didn't want to be one.

That made two of us.

"_WHAT?!"_ Obito screeched and the three of us winced at his tone. I sighed as I tucked the packet under my arm. This was going to be a long day.

^o^

Ta-da! A beautiful story for your enjoyment, though I don't think my writing skills is up to par as it should me. Lately, it's all been kaput. Maybe I need a break...

I'm pretty sure that Obito is OOC, but I don't really care. I see him as the very loud, very protective and annoying older brother..._Also I know that in most cases Shisui and Obito are depicted as brothers, but having no firm evidence (and believe me, __**I LOOKED**__) to back up the theory, they aren't going to be in this story._

**~Reality is for people who lack imagination.** (BTW: I don't know who exactly says all the quotes... they're just old quotes that I have on my computer... So I own no quotes you see at the end of the chapter, unless I say otherwise)

Yanagi's name means 'willow', Shisui's nickname for her, Yagi, means 'goat'. XDDDDD

Another thing, this story is from the_ sensei's_ Point of View. Yes there will be a few short cuts where I change POVs with someone, but it's rare because I hate writing Canon characters, it's a hassle. -.-

Anyway, Flame Friendly! Go on, leave me a flame, I don't mind! ^^


	2. Last Day of Freedom

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Now how about that?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Someone likes my story! *does happy dance*

Thanks to Ninja from Yesterday for reviews. Thanks to bacon of doom, Ninja from Yesterday, dbzamywinxchic, Skyea, ArtemisKirara7, wwsa1995 for favorites.

BTW Ages for Part One are: Yanagi (21), Rookie 9 (12), Fugaku (47), Mikoto (42), Itachi (18), Shisui (23), Denryoku (25), Ibo (20), Iruka (23), Jounin Elite [Kakashi, Obito, Asuma...] (27)... etc. etc.

**Hey hey! Yeah you! You with the face! SPREAD THE WORD! Narutopedia is hosting their own Community Choice Awards, so go vote! Go to the Naruto Wiki homepage and you'll see a banner at the top talking about it! LET'S CELEBRATE THE ENDING OF THE MOST GLORIOUS ANIME!**

vvv

"There's that kid... You know I heard he's the only one who failed."

"Hmph, serves him right."

"Can you imagine what would happen if _he _became an ninja?"

I opened my eyes as my ears picked up on the conversation among the happy parents celebrating their brats' graduation. Turning my head slightly to the left and looking down, I could see the object of the women's conversation straddling the swing hanging from the tree I was lounging in. I felt no pity for him. I had chased after the yellow haired menace too many times for disruption of the peace and defacing public property; since part of the Konoha Police Force's job was to watch over the brat and make sure nothing befell him as well as keep him from pranking.

The little fox brat always managed slipped past the Police Force squads and caused a ruckus anyway.

I glanced over my shoulder at my teammate sitting in the same tree I was. Ibo was watching the gossiping peahens with fierce intensity. Should either of the women make a threatening move towards Naruto, the white haired Uchiha would step in and 'dissuade' them from continuing their attack. Ibo glanced at me when he felt my gaze. I wordlessly lifted my hand and made a series of quick one handed signs. Ibo nodded silently and repeated the hand gestures to our other teammate who was on the ground, leaning in the shade of the Academy building.

Ibo and I watched as Denryoku waded into the crowd of proud brats and mushy parents, his dark eyes on the two women. All conversation dwindled away as everyone watched the imposing man stalk towards the bimbos. Both women snapped their attention around to the Uchiha, but I was too far away to see their expression. Denryoku gave the two a polite smile and nod as he passed by them without a word, continuing down the street like he was going on patrol and nothing more. When he was gone, the woman bent closer together to whisper, eyes darting for any more signs of the police. I grinned a little to myself, nothing like reminding two idiots that the Konoha Police Force was always monitoring Naruto and any hint of revealing the secret about him.

I stood and stretched my arms above my head, using chakra to keep me balanced on the slim tree branch, "Come on, Ibo, our work is finished." I said dully.

My more silent teammate shot me a glance as he too stood up. In a quick succession of hand signals, my teammate informed me that we weren't off duty yet. I rolled my eyes and pointed downwards, where the swing Naruto had been sitting on swung back and forth wildly. The kid had gone off with one of his teachers, he was safe and we didn't have to worry any more. Ibo still looked skeptical, but followed me nonetheless. I was captain of the squad for a reason.

And it wasn't just because I was the only one who knew how to do paperwork correctly.

Denryoku was flirting with a small crowd of girls when we walked up on him. I rolled my eyes. Like all Uchiha men, Denryoku had a fanclub. The only problem was, unlike most Uchiha, Denryoku adored his fans almost as much as they adored him.

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked as Ibo and I walked up on our teammate. A few of his fangirls squealed when they saw Ibo standing beside me, but he ignored them.

Denryoku gave me a cocky grin, his arms wrapped around the shoulders of two chesty and scantly clad women, "You know you want some of me too, Yanagi!"

I stared at him expressionlessly.

The flirty Uchiha stared back for a minute before hanging his head in defeat and cursing, "Damn it, Yanagi! Why do you have to be so intimidating?!" He growled as he stepped away from the sluts and crossed his arms with a pout.

I grinned briefly before letting my face fall back into neutral, "It's a gift. Now we have to report, say goodbye to your girlfriends and hurry up." I said and started to turn away, but Ibo grabbed my arm. Silently he pointed back towards the Academy. I followed his finger then groaned when I saw Fugaku-sama making his way towards us. Denryoku immediately leapt to our side when he saw our clan leader, scrubbing at his lipstick stained cheeks with the cuff of his sleeve. Fugaku was a bit of a prude and he thought that Uchiha shouldn't degrade themselves with vulgar behavior.

It was a wonder how he managed to Mikoto-oba pregnant twice.

The three of us bowed when Fugaku-sama stopped in front of us, though I didn't bow nearly as low as Ibo or Denryoku. Behind Fugaku stood his family, complete with the newly made genin brat that I would have the pleasure of torturing tomorrow.

"Report." Fugaku said, crossing his arms with a stern look he always wore when dealing with the Konoha Police Force squads. I stayed silent as Denryoku informed the Konoha Police Force Commander of all that had transpired. I wasn't going to speak unless my clan leader addressed my directly. And even then I might only yell at him for making me become a sensei. I loved my patrol, it was probably the _only_ thing I enjoyed. And Fugaku-sama was taking that away all for the sake of his brat.

My eyes darted towards the duckass boy, he was talking amiably to his older brother about whatever brats like to talk about. Tomorrow he wouldn't be smiling, I was going to make his life a living hell. Maybe he would actually quit being a ninja. I'd get a kick out of seeing how his family reacted to that.

Sasuke must have felt my stare because he turned to me with questioning eyes. I held his gaze as my mouth tilted upwards into a sneer. I was starting to look forward to tomorrow and see how he reacted in knowing that I would be his sensei. I was even starting to hope that one of his more annoying fangirls got on the team, if only to torture Sasuke.

Things were starting to look up.

I was still smiling when Fugaku left my squad alone. Immediately after the Main Branch family left, Denryoku turned to me, "What sort of torture do you have planned for that poor kid?! You were practically scaring the shit out of Sasuke!" The loud mouth flirt exclaimed. Both my squad members knew of my involuntary retirement form the police force, they would be losing their captain after all. Even worse, while I was on my little quest to make the clan look good, Ibo and Denryoku would be on their own 'bring the Uchiha closer to the village' mission.

I wouldn't return to the police force since I would be a permanent sensei, then a team leader if the genin made chunnin by some miracle. So Fugaku had found a replacement to take over my position as captain. Normally it wouldn't be that bad, but the great clan leader in all his infinite glory had decided to pull another jerk move on my poor teammates.

They were getting an Hyuuga as a captain.

All in the name of peace between the Uchiha and Konohagakure, at least that was what Fugaku-sama said. For years only Uchiha were trained as Konoha's police; but that lead to suspicion that the police were being biased towards the Uchiha clan, so Fugaku began granting admission to any who could make the cut. As a result there was an influx of many non-Uchiha police officers, but none had ever been given the rank of captain.

Until now, apparently.

Denryoku sighed and stuck his lower lip out in a pout, "Why do you have to go? Why can't it be Ibo? He's no fun." Our silent teammate shot Denryoku a nasty look that was almost on par with mine, but as usual the abnormally white haired Uchiha said nothing.

I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands in my pockets, "Because then Ibo would have to actually talk. Besides, he hasn't activated the Sharingan, so he can't teach Sasuke. I have and I'm proficient with our Kekke Genkai, but I'm not powerful enough like Itachi-san or Shisui to matter if I become a jounin sensei."

"You know that question was rhetorical, right?" Denryoku asked drily, giving me a look out of the corner of his eye.

I only shrugged. Denryoku was famous for asking a question he wanted to know the answer to then claiming it was rhetorical. I suspected he did that to seem smarter, especially when the answer was obvious. "Come on, let's celebrate our last night together as a squad and go drinking." I said and threw my arms over my tall teammates shoulders. I was tall for a women, almost as tall as a man, and they were _still_ taller than me. It wasn't fair!

Ibo immediately shrugged my arm off and turned his head away from us. I'd bet a thousand ryo that the guy was blushing. Ibo was extremely shy, but he hid it underneath layers of neutral expressions and silence. It was one of the reasons why Fugaku paired Ibo with Denryoku and me, so that he would never have to speak and go outside of his comfort zone. Fugaku may be a grade-A jerk, but he stilled cared for his clan members.

Denryoku wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, "Sure! I love it when you get drunk! You're not a surly woman then." He said cheerfully. I glared at him, contemplating whether that comment deserved setting Obito after my teammate or not. Denryoku seemed to catch on to what I was thinking, because he paled, "Not your brother..." He pleaded as he jerked his arm away from my waist.

I grinned. It was nice to know that my teammate feared my brother enough that he would do anything I said if only to avoid the overprotective Uchiha. "Don't worry, Denryoku, I'm sure Nii-san won't hurt you _too_ bad." I said teasingly. Denryoku was starting to look ill.

"You're terrible, Yanagi-san..." A soft barely audible voice said. Denryoku and I snapped our heads around to stare at Ibo, who was staring at his feet. Knowing the white haired Uchiha, he probably hadn't meant to say that out load. With shaking hands, Ibo quickly made the hand signals for an apology. Denryoku and I exchanged looks, our faces twisting up in amusement. When Fugaku had put the shy Uchiha on our squad after our last teammate retired, the clan leader had warned us about Ibo's habit to speak through jounin hand signals. We hadn't taken him seriously then.

After three years of being on the same squad, Ibo had spoken maybe fifteen words, including the four he had just said, and used hand signs the rest of the time. It was his way of speaking.

Denryoku pounced on Ibo, grabbing the younger Uchiha in a choke hold, "If you ever want to get a girl, you've gotta learn to talk to one, you know." The flirt said as he ruffled Ibo's white hair with his knuckles. Ibo just took the treatment without struggle.

I sighed, "You two are idiots. Come on, I want to drink. Maybe I'll get a hangover for tomorrow." I said dully as I started for the nearest bar.

Denryoku followed, Ibo still in his choke hold. "Fugaku-sama will kill you if you show up hungover tomorrow. We've all seen you the day after you're dead drunk, I can't think of anyone with a worse temper." He pointed out.

"Fine. I'll just get a little drunk." I compromised.

"Yeah right... someone is going to challenge you to a drinking game and you'll be stone drunk before you know it." Denryoku countered drily. I glared at Denryoku, who went white and ducked behind Ibo. I felt proud that I could scare one of the physically strongest Uchiha in the clan with only a glare. Ibo sighed at the both of us and shook his head, probably wondering for the millionth time why Fugaku-sama put him on Konoha Police Squad 18.

After flashing our ninja registration cards that showed we were all jounin at the bartender, Denryoku and I started our night getting drunk on sake. Ibo sat beside us, watching us out of the corner of his eye. Ibo never drank, having some medical condition that prevented him from partaking in the fun. Besides, we needed someone to make sure Denryoku and I didn't do something stupid.

Half the time we did something stupid anyway.

It took nearly two hours for Denryoku to get intoxicated, and soon after I joined him in that state of extreme happiness. I got a good laugh watching the older Uchiha flirt with anything that moved, even the bartender. I nearly fell off my stool at the expression of revulsion that the bartender sported when Denryoku asked him on a date.

"Well you seem to be enjoying yourself." A highly amused voice said behind me.

I turned around with a grin, " 'Kashi-nii-san! I didn't know you would be here, enjoying your last night of freedom too? Or did the Hokage finally learn his lesson and give up making you a jounin sensei?" I asked, my words only slightly slurred together.

The grey haired male blinked his visible eye, from amusement or confusion that I was actually being friendly, I didn't know. He nodded towards a booth set in the back, where most of the other Jounin Elite sat chatting. My brother wasn't there luckily, he'd kill me if he knew I was drunk. I swear that man treated me like a five year old. "We're enjoying the night too." Kakashi said mildly, not answer my question.

Denryoku turned around, his right eye twitching in annoyance, "Hey... cool guy. My girlfriend, so back _off._" The drunk Uchiha slurred. Ibo sighed and forcibly turned Denryoku back around, shooting an apologetic look at Kakashi.

Kakashi watched my two teammates for a moment before turning to me, his visible eye questioning. I shrugged as I knocked back another shot of sake, "He's talking crazy, I'd never date him." I dismissed the accusation easily.

My drunk teammate turned to me, rivers of tears running down his cheeks, "Bu-but... Yanagiii... you said you loved me!" I rolled my eyes at him as I laughed out right. Only in his dreams would I ever say that I loved Denryoku, other than a friend. The Uchiha wailed loudly and threw himself all over poor Ibo, who's expression screamed 'do not want'. I laughed at their faces.

The Hatake jounin scratched the back of his head nervously, "So this is why Uchiha never get drunk..." He said mostly to himself. I nodded happily, even though it wasn't a question. The Uchiha clan was so uptight that it had to take being stone drunk for them to relax.

I leaned closer to Kakashi as if to share a secret, "Hey... do you think that Ibo-kun would be talkative if we got him drunk?" I asked in a loud whisper. The white haired Uchiha shot me a dirty look as he struggled to push Denryoku off of him.

"Maybe. Let's not try it though. I think you should go home and rest up for tomorrow." Kakashi hedged.

My mood changed from happy to angry in .06 seconds. I glared at Kakashi, "Oh? Are you on 'Sister Duty'? Gotta make sure Obito's little sister behaves herself, huh? I'm a grown woman, Hatake Kakashi, I don't need you to tell me what to do!" Kakashi's hands went up in the air as he tried to defend himself. Outraged that he was lying, or so I thought in my hazy mind, I lashed out at him.

vvv

"Whoever invented hangovers should be dragged out in the street and made into a senbon pincushion." I growled as Kakashi and I stumbled into the Hokage's office the next morning. The man had to physically drag me out of bed and then threatened to take away my supply of candy if I didn't get dressed. Excuse me if I don't feel any sympathy towards the jerk.

My brother's best friend/rival sighed as he let me lean on him, "That's what you get," Kakashi grumbled. I wasn't very high on Kakashi's 'nice list' since I apparently had managed to land a punch to his face before he used his sharingan to knock me out. I don't remember ever doing anything of the sort, but everyone I asked confirmed that I had socked Kakashi in the jaw for what appeared to be nothing.

If I wasn't so proud that I landed a hit on the infamous Copy-nin, I would feel bad.

I glared at him, "Just for that I hope you get the Uzumaki brat." I growled testily. I almost felt sorry for the genin I would have to teach. Today they were going to face me at my worst, not even Obito dared to argue with me when I was hungover.

Before Kakashi could respond, the Third Hokage cleared his throat. Both of us turned to see the old man giving us a stern look, the rest of the jounin looking exasperated. Suddenly I realized how late the both of us were. I glared up at Kakashi, I could see that smirk through his face mask. Kakashi had gotten Obito's habit of showing up extremely late to anything. He _knew_ that being late was one of my biggest pet peeves, which meant the Copy-nin had done it on purpose.

"Remind me to murder you later on." I growled darkly as I stepped away from Kakashi, swaying on my feet. The jerk only gave me an eye smile, confirming that he had made me late on purpose. Though, after punching him last night, I suppose I deserved it.

Still didn't make me any less mad.

The Hokage started off with the spiel about how being a sensei was a big responsibility and that we were in charge of the next generation of shinobi, which then turned into a big motivational speech about the importance of genin. I sighed as I stuffed my hands into my pockets, if I thought Fugaku-sama was a long winded old fool, he had nothing on the Sandaime Hokage. Sometimes I wondered if Lord Hiruzen was Hokage because he was boring enough to talk his enemies to death.

I tucked my chin in and closed my eyes, half listening to the Hokage as he informed all the jounin present that we could use whatever teaching methods we wished, as long as it was ethical. I smirked at that. The Uchiha clan was famous for getting as close to unethical as we could and still not breaking the rules. Still, if Fugaku learned that I was torturing his duckass son, he'd kill me. Worse, Itachi-san would be after my blood as well. The whole clan knew how much Itachi loved his little brother. I really didn't need the Uchiha Prodigy and ANBU Black Ops captain out to kill me.

I'd have to keep my teachings ethical to all my students, or it would seem like I was playing favoritism towards Sasuke. And that was something I didn't want anyone accusing me of.

^o^

Yeah... so this chapter was going to be longer, but then it would have ended in a stupid spot, so I'm just going to shove the next part back a chapter... And these first two chapters were basically a prologue, the real stuff happens from the next chapter on. *evil giggle*

**~Never doubt the power of an extremely pissed off woman.**

...You know, I've gotta stop staying up til midnight on school nights... especially when I have an eight o'clock class...

Reviews are _**love!**_

Flame Friendly!


	3. Enter Team 7!

Disclaimer: ...*stares intently at you* Hey... come closer... closer... _cloooooooser~..._ I DON'T OWN NARUTO! lol

I've got nothing insane to say... strange right? Oh well, not like any of you weirdos read the 'before A/N' of the chapter begins anyway... at least you've never made any reference to them. *shrugs* Oh wait... new readers don't even know I'm insane! HA! XD I forgot about that. Get out while you still can, dearies! My insanity _sticks!_ (Okay maybe I shouldn't have had that last Hershey's Kiss...) Well what do you know?! I do have something insane to say! It's called a mild Fluff Master Moment! Just ask my good friend/adopted internet sister Hawk Sirius if you want to know what I mean... She's suffered through those moments many a times! *derp face* Anyway... ON WITH THE STORY! *strike dramatic pose with finger pointing towards the horizon with a sun set and everything* …Yeah... really shouldn't have had that last Hershey's Kiss... probably shouldn't have even had the first one... THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE PROPER ENGLISH! Hmmm... probably shouldn't have had the first one either... that sounds better!

Yeah so I found a translated version of Shisui's latest databook page... did you know he's ranked ANBU? I thought he was just a jounin! XD

_WOOOOOOO! Yesterday was my birthday (but since I update on Fridays, you get it now), and I have updated just for you! Help me celebrate my birthday by giving me a wonderful review as a birthday present! 19 baby! YEAH_

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"Morning Sasuke-kun... mind if I sit next to you?" A girlish voice said.

The Uchiha blinked and looked away from his conversation with his cousin, Netsui. His classmate Sakura stood at the end of the table, her hands clasped in front of her flat chest. Sasuke's right eye gave a miniscule twitch. He really didn't understand why all the fangirls flocked to him when they could easily chase after Netsui, who was easily more willing than Sasuke.

Netsui sighed and threaded his fingers behind his head. He didn't understand why Sasuke got all the fangirls. Even his twin sister Nerai was a stupid fangirl! Though, Netsui didn't want his own sister to be _his_ fangirl, that was just wrong. Still, it was unfair that the son of the Uchiha clan leader got all the girls and not one of the other boys got an admirer. Netsui watched with mild interest as the fangirls all got into a fight about who should get to sit next to Sasuke; even if Netsui would never know the bliss of girls fighting over him, it was still fun to watch.

Sasuke glanced back at his pouting cousin, fully intending to ignore his rowdy fangirls. They would all just stand there and argue until Iruka-sensei came in, there was no point in listening to the girls squabble about who came in first and got first dibs on the chair next to Sasuke.

"Aniki says they divide us into three man teams. Who do you think you'll get paired with?" Sasuke asked.

The brown haired Uchiha shrugged as his eyes lingered on the crowd of fangirls, "I don't know. Iruka-sensei probably has our teams already figured out. We can't help who we get paired up with. It could be a complete randomization..."

"Or it could be a complex system," Sasuke finished, "But if that's true, then how would they separate us?"

Netsui shrugged again. It was his nervous habit, every single time his mother yelled at him about something, he just started shrugging. Honestly, he couldn't name what was making him nervous at the moment. Netsui got along fine with Sasuke. They were friends, being the top two smartest students in the academy, plus the only two Uchiha in their class, not counting Netsui's boy crazed sister. "Possibly by age or personality. Skill would be kind of dumb, since the lowest of the class would be paired with each other and never get anything done." Netsui answered Sasuke's question.

Sasuke frowned, that made sense, but he felt that he was missing information. As an Uchiha, he didn't like not having all the facts. When he had asked his brother, all Itachi said was that he would be placed on a three man squad with a jounin sensei. Then there was yesterday...

Sasuke folded his hands in front of his mouth as he pondered his cousin's actions from yesterday. Yanagi-itoko had given him such an evil grin, it had almost given him chills. Almost. That police officer knew something about today, the way her eyes gleamed spoke as much. And it didn't bode well with Sasuke at all from the looks of it.

A foot landing on the desk in front of him startled Sasuke out of his thoughts. There was that dead last idiot, Naruto, squatting in front of Sasuke and glaring. Sasuke's eyes narrowed instantly. Normally he didn't care what the idiot did; and Sasuke was never impolite to Naruto or Mikoto would flay his hide. Still, there were certain boundaries that Naruto clearly didn't understand; and that was unforgivable.

"Naruto! Hey stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted.

Naruto looked around at Sakura confused. The blonde boy honestly didn't understand what Sakura saw in Sasuke. Sure, the midnight blue haired Uchiha wasn't as rude as some of the boys in their class, but he was still a prick to a degree. Naruto looked back at the impassive Uchiha in front of his face. Sasuke's eyes narrowed just a fraction of an inch, enough to be classified as a glare.

It went down hill from there...

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

I was the only one who burst out laughing when Naruto and Sasuke accidentally kissed. I could just see all the blackmail use I could get out of it. Those two would practically be my slaves, and then if some dimwitted girl should fall in love with those bozos, I was _so_ bringing this incident back up. I might even inform Sasuke's family just for the reactions I would get from Fugaku-sama and Itachi-san.

Maybe there was justice in the world.

The Hokage sighed, "As usual... Naruto is right in the middle of some kind of trouble." The old man commented when Sasuke's fangirls proceeded to beat Naruto within an inch of his life. Honestly I was still dying over the fact that my younger cousin's 'first kiss' was stolen by a rowdy boy, I really didn't care what a bunch of vain brats did to the Kyuubi kid.

Kakashi gave me a slightly annoyed look out of the corner of his eye and elbowed me in the side to get my attention. I bit down on my first knuckle to muffle the snickers still leaking out as the Hokage went on some long winded last minute detailing about some special team that Asuma was getting. It took the entirety of Hiruzen's speech, which was saying something, but I finally got my giggles under control.

Hiruzen-sama motioned to one of the shinobi officials sitting beside him. The nondescript person, seriously I couldn't even tell if it was female or male, passed out even _more_ packets to the jounin. The Lord Hokage explained as his assistant distributed the stacks of papers, "These are a basic outline of the students you will be assigned. It contains a brief overview of their academics, personality, and abilities so you can adjust your training to fit their goals."

I couldn't help but scoff softly at that. 'Adjust your training' my ass. The Uchiha didn't adjust training, the students adjusted to the training or they failed and became a disgrace to the clan. Still, I had to keep reminding myself that the parents of my students would murder me- Fugaku being at the front of the line- if I mistreated their brats.

Rolling my eyes because I could, I reached into the large envelope as all the other jounin did the same, and pulled out a small stack of thick paper. Dropping the envelope to the floor now that I didn't need it, I began leaving through the pages. I skipped completely over Sasuke's overview, if he was anything like an normal Uchiha then I shouldn't have a problem teaching him.

My mouth hit the floor when I saw the remaining teammates of the new Team 7.

Screw justice, the karma demons hated me again.

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"...All the genin will be grouped into three man squads, each squad will be lead by a jounin- an elite ninja." Iruka-sensei finished his little speech.

Sakura and Ino perked up at the same time and the same thoughts ran through their minds. A three man squad... that meant that some lucky girl would be placed on Sasuke's team! Ino recovered first and quickly pulled her aloof mask back down on her expression. "Well someone's gotta be on Sasuke-kun's group, I wonder who it will be...?"

The pink haired girl sitting in front of her glanced slightly over her shoulder and said coolly, "I don't know." As if the thought of anyone other than Sakura herself didn't really matter to her, when in fact it did. She was bound and determined to be on Sasuke's team if it killed her, she was _certain_ of it. After all, Sakura was smart enough to figure out how the teams were divided. It was a sure win that she would be on Sasuke-kun's team!

Iruka-sensei grinned, "We separate the squads by strength and abilities, that will determine who you are teamed up with." See? Just like Sakura predicted! Because she was the most intelligent she would be placed with the strongest fighter, which was Sasuke. The only problem was that whoever was the weakest would also be put on the team, to balance them out. Sakura glanced to her right to see Naruto looking deep in thought, most likely she would be placed with him as well. What a nightmare!

Iruka-sensei lifted the papers that listed the teams and called out in a louder voice, "I will now announce the squads!"

All across the class room, each new genin were going through their own mental list, trying to puzzle out who they would be teamed with, all the while being sure to listen for when their names were called. Sasuke sighed and folded his hands in front of his mouth, this wasn't good. He was one of the strongest in the class; as was his cousin Netsui, so that meant they probably wouldn't be put on a team. Well there went his one chance at being comfortable with his new team. Now he would actually have to speak the people he normally wouldn't, and the kunoichi would probably be a fangirl. Sasuke shuddered at the thought.

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto..." Iruka said and the blonde boy perked up. This was his team, Naruto could only hope that they wouldn't hold him back or anything, since he was a kickass ninja! "Hyuuga Hinata..." The shy little heiress almost fainted then and there. Her wish had been granted, she was on the team with Naruto-kun! "and Uchiha Sasuke."

Sakura and Ino stared at the sensei with open mouths, they had been so _sure_ that they would be the ones on Sasuke's team! It was almost fool proof, after all they were both the smartest in the class... in their own opinions. What was worse, they really couldn't begrudge Hinata for being on Sasuke's team. She was probably the only girl that wasn't a fangirl of Sasuke's. She probably didn't like _any_ boy!

Iruka continued, not even paying attention to the drama unfolding in front of him, "Next Team 8: Haruno Sakura... Inuzuka Kiba... and Aburame Shino," Sakura paled at the thought of being on a team with the rowdy dog boy and the creepy bug boy. Still that wasn't as bad as being on the team with Naruto! At least she lucked out on that. Sensei just continued ripping apart dreams and making some of them come true, "Now Team 10: Yamanaka Ino... Nara Shikamaru... and Akimichi Chouji." Ino nearly fainted. She was on a team with the laziest genin in the class and the fattest?! How did she end up with such weirdos?!

Before Iruka could continue, Naruto stood up with an air of indignity, "Iruka-sensei! Why does someone as powerful as me have to be on a team with a slug like Sasuke?!" Sakura glared at him, fire burning in her green eyes, but Iruka spoke before Naruto Beat-down Two could commence.

"Because Sasuke has the highest scores in _all_ the graduating students. Naruto... you had the worst scores," Iruka said with no mercy towards his surrogate little brother. The whole class, mostly Sasuke fangirls and a few Naruto-haters, laughed loudly at the blonde. "To be a balanced team," Iruka continued over the laughing kids, cutting their mirth off quickly, "we put the best student with the worst student."

Naruto growled while Sasuke looked coolly out the window. Mikoto might kill him later, but Sasuke couldn't help but say, "Just make sure you don't get in my way, _loser_." Oh yeah, Kaa-chan was definitely going to murder Sasuke. She couldn't stand her children saying anything mean about Naruto. Though... Mikoto never gave a reason why.

"Hey what did you say?!"

"Hard of hearing?" Sasuke retorted, slightly amused and the whole class burst out laughing again. Sakura tried to come to Sasuke's defense, but Iruka-sensei cleared his throat and ended all mischief.

As the laughter slowly dwindled down, Iruka informed the new genin, "After lunch, you'll meet your new jounin teachers. Until then, class dismiss-"

_Wham!_

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

Everyone whirled around when I slammed the classroom door open. Even Iruka, who should have been able to sense my chakra signatures, looked surprised. I still had a few minutes before my life officially became a living hell, maybe I should pull a classic Obito and screw with the minds of the impressionable brats, which included Iruka even though he was older than me. Without hesitation I started making jounin level hand signals telling the members of Team 7 to meet me on the roof.

No one moved. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

"Uh... Uchiha-san... may I help you?" Iruka said hesitantly. He didn't seem to know who I was, otherwise he'd be a lot more fearful to have one of the two hot headed Uchiha in his classroom. Still he knew enough to know that having an Uchiha in the room was enough to exercise caution. Being genin teammates with Shisui must have taught him that. Even an Uchiha as goofy as Shisui could still be unpredictable. I almost grinned, but didn't to keep my emotionless expression in check.

I rolled my eyes instead, "Honestly, are you all so stupid that you don't know a single jounin hand sign?" I asked, the contempt in my voice wasn't forced.

The Kyuubi brat took offense to that of course, "Hey! I'm not an idiot, I'm going to be Hokage someday, ya know!" I nearly laughed at that and mentally added yet another name to the list of Hokage wannabes. First Minato-san, though I didn't mind Nii-san's sensei being Hokage, then Obito, for a while Shisui had the dream too–before the drama of the failed Uchiha coup d'état–and now the Kyuubi brat.

Iruka was sweatdropping, "Er, Uchiha-san, they're only genin. They shouldn't have to-" He tried to explain.

My eyes cut to the chunnin and he stopped talking, "I knew half the sign book by the time I graduated, and I became a genin at the age of nine. That's no excuse." So I was bragging, so what? After growing up with a braggart crybaby for a brother, I was surprised I wasn't bragging more often then I actually did, which was still rare. Of course, my knowledge of hand signs probably came from a certain emotionally stunted silver haired ninja robot; but I wasn't going to tell anyone that.

Iruka tried to speak up, but he was silenced each time I pointed out why this graduating class was lesser than most classes in the past. It was almost scary how wimpy these kids were compared to past genin. Iruka was looking more and more flustered while the brats shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

Waving a hand, I dismissed the argument, "Whatever. Team 7 is to report to the roof, now. You're training begins."

The three genin soon to be under my thumb paled, "B-but... what about lunch?" Naruto asked, tears starting to prick his bright blue eyes. My eyebrows pinched together in a frown, why did I get the feeling that food and this kid was going to be a major problem?

"I'm your jounin sensei. What I say goes... and I say get your asses up to the roof _now_ or suffer." I started to turn away, but not before I noticed that the three Uchiha genin in the room were slumping down in their seats, as if ashamed to be associated with me.

Disrespect towards a hungover hot tempered Uchiha meant someone had a death wish.

"_SIT UP STRAIGHT YOU UCHIHA HEATHENS! WHAT, WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN?!"_ I roared and got the extreme satisfaction of not only seeing the three dark haired kids pop back up, but everyone, including Iruka, stiffen at the command. "Now Team 7, you've got thirty seconds to get your worthless asses on the roof or I fail the lot of you." I said more calmly, probably mentally scaring a lot of the brats. I wondered if Iruka was going to look into getting me committed to a jounin sanity test.

As I shunshined out of the room and onto the roof, I smirked. If I was going to make this any more bearable, a few more required sanity test shouldn't be too much of a consequence.

"Twenty-eight seconds, you're cutting it close." I said mildly when the door to the academy roof burst open and my three _precious_ little genin came tumbling out. For having ran up four flights of stairs in 28 seconds, I was slightly impressed that none of them were winded. But then Sasuke and the Hyuuga were clan kids and were already conditioned for harsher training exercises, and Naruto had run from many shinobi in the past during his pranks it was no surprise that he had stamina as well.

I wordlessly motioned for them to take a seat, and spoke as they were flopping down on the ground, well Naruto flopped the other two sat down more gracefully. "Alright, since we're stuck together, tell me a little about yourselves. Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams... crap like that." I said dismissively, not even bothering to look at the three brats.

The Hyuuga heiress raised her hand timidly. I raised an eyebrow at her juvenile behavior and rolled my eyes, making her blush even more than she already was. Exasperated I called on her and the shy Hyuuga stuttered out, "W-wi-will you g-g-go first s-s-s-sen-sensei?" I narrowed my eyes a fraction, first thing I was training her in was speech.

"Fine. My name is Uchiha Yanagi, and yes I am related to Sasuke. I'm his cousin, as much as I don't want to be," I added when I saw Naruto's confused face. "I like my Police Force patrol, which I was forced to retire from. I dislike stuttering timid kids," Hinata's face lit up like a thermometer, "overly annoying blondes," Naruto was too dumb to get the reverence towards him. I really shouldn't be that surprised, "younger family members... just kids in general." Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed into an almost glare. I was tempted to return it with a full Uchiha Glare, but I didn't want to give him a heart attack.

His family would kill me.

"I also don't like my older brother or Uchiha Shisui, the clan in general, being a jounin sensei... and many other things. My hobbies... I have an indefinite amount of hobbies and none are your business. My dream is to get out of this hell that my clan leader forced me in and get back to my patrol." Sasuke looked like he wanted to question me about my dislike for the clan, but I was already pointing at Hinata, "Stuttering kid, go."

Of course she turned an unhealthy shade of red. I was beginning to wonder if there was any blood left in her body or if it was all showing in her face. "M-m-my name is Hy-Hyuuga H-H-Hinata. I like... m-my f-fa-family a-and..." she got even brighter, "cinnamon rolls!" She finished in a squeaky tone. I raised an eyebrow at that, obviously she had been about to say something else. "I-I-I... don't real-really d-dis-dislike a-a-any-anything. My ho-hob-hobby i-i-is p-pres-pressing fl-flowers. And m-my d-d-d-dream is t-t-t-to-to be a g-gre-great n-nin-ninja!" I was almost tempted to make a fake snoring sound. How boring can a brat get?

I was definitely signing her up for a speech therapist first thing in the morning. Even if she was a Hyuuga, this girl was my only semblance to sanity. Or she would be if I could cure her of that nasty stutter. I pressed my left fingers to my forehead as I pointed to the Kyuubi brat with my right hand, "Go."

"ALRIGHT!" The blonde haired idiots said and started moving his headband up and down like a weirdo, "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like instant ramen in a cup, and I _really_ like the ramen Iruka-sensei gave me. But I hate the three minutes I have to wait for the ramen to cook. My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them. And my future dream is... _to be the greatest Hokage!_ That way everyone will start respecting me!"

I couldn't help it, I facepalmed. This kid blabbed about nothing but ramen and then suddenly drops a bomb like wanting to be the next Hokage?! And I thought Obito was bad. I made a mental note to never introduce the two if I could help it. They would drive me over the edge if they started talking. Sighing, I waved a hand towards my relative, "Go, Uchiha brat."

Sasuke was sitting in his cool pose, where he got it from I would never know. Itachi and Shisui weren't the ones to teach him, I knew that much! He glared at the name I gave him, "My _name_ is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't particularly like or dislike anything." I bet any fangirls hanging around the area were sobbing by now. A small joy to me. "My hobbies include walking and training with my Aniki. I don't have a dream, because I will make it into a reality. I'm going to become strong enough to beat my brother and be the strongest Uchiha in the clan." Sasuke's eyes staring at me in an open challenge.

I laughed out right and nearly fell off the railing, "Oh that's rich! Someone is delusional!" I shrieked. All three poor little genin looked confused, with just a smidgen of indignity on Sasuke's part. "Sorry, idiot, but I don't think your dream will become a 'reality.'"

My younger cousin frowned, "How so?" He growled. Apparently someone didn't like being teased.

Leaning forward I crossed my arms over my chest, "Simply because Itachi-san _isn't_ the strongest Uchiha in the clan." Boy I wish I had a camera to snap a picture of Sasuke's expression. I could totally use it as more blackmail.

"T-t-then w-w-who is?" Hinata asked for Sasuke, since he was still shell shocked that his Nii-san wasn't the strongest in our clan, as he clearly believed. I wondered if Itachi was the one who put the idea in his head, or if it was simply idol worship.

"Shisui."

Sasuke actually sputtered, "What?! You're telling me that goofball is the strongest?" The poor boy asked incredulous. I laughed again, even though Sasuke practically grew up around some atypical Uchiha like my brother and Shisui, he was still a typical arrogant ass. So it was ten times more funny when his facade cracked.

I sneered at the still disbelieving boy, "Believe it or not, yes. Itachi is better in skill, true, but Shisui has something going for him that no other living person has." I said in a mysterious tone. All three genin leaned in, obviously wanting to know the secret. Even Hinata was looking eager about it. I smirked and shook my head, "Nuh-uh. That's a secret that only people with the Uchiha Kekke Genkai can know."

Naruto looked confused, "What's a Kekke Genkai?" He mumbled under his breath.

I was going to give him a sarcastic answer, but Sasuke ignored the question to say, "I will have the Kekke Genkai one day, so you can tell me."

I held up a finger, "Ah-ah-ah... Let me correct that previous statement: Only people who have _activated_ the Kekke Genkai and can use it effectively in battle can know the secret." Sasuke pouted but didn't push the subject. At least he knew the requirements to unlock his Sharingan, otherwise I have no doubt he would be standing up and shouting that he would unlock the Sharingan no matter what, just to learn the secret behind Shisui's reputation.

Oh wait... that's Naruto shtick.

Speaking of the Kyuubi brat, he was standing and shouting, "What is a Kekke Genkai?! And how can I get one?"

I scoffed, "Idiot, a Kekke Genkai is something you're born with. It's a bloodline trait that you can only get from your family, a tool to help you fight as a ninja basically." I said, dumbing it down so that a two year old, or Naruto in this case, could understand. Before any of the brats could say anything else, I pushed off the rail, "Okay. We have our first mission tomorrow, be at training ground six at five a.m. and bring your ninja gear. Bye, brats." Before any of them could respond, I shunshined away, ignoring Naruto's shouts to come back and explain myself.

He should really learn that Uchiha never explain themselves, especially since he had Sasuke and me on the team.

^o^

Oh this is going to be _goooooood~_ What does Yanagi have in mind for Team 7's 'survival exercise'? What does Shisui have that Itachi doesn't (though that answer should be obvious)? Will Obito ever meet Naruto? lol I sound like some 80s T.V. drama show. XD

**~Whoever said "words don't hurt" have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.**

And _yes_, the new team arrangements (Sakura and Hinata switching) are for a perfectly good reason that I will explain at a later time. Trust me, this story is all planned out, so stop doubting me! lol

BTW: Do you think I should keep Netsui in the story? I kinda like his character, but I'm torn whether I should use him some more or not...

Flamers welcome to my domain!


	4. The Test

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

Meh... I've gotta stop writing so late at night... I'm going to die in my college classes if I don't stop my habits...

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or favorites this story, I'm just too lazy to do the list thing at the moment. XP_

You know... I was writing the first part of this chapter, and then I went to take a shower... yeah Obito and I are alike in a lot of ways (at least the Obito in THIS story...) Read to find out what I mean! ^^

*pulls hair out in frustration* My stupid spell check on Open Office died and when I got it fixed IT DELETED ALL MY WORDS I ADDED TO THE DICIOTNARY! Now I'm having to go through all my stories and adding back all the names and words that aren't proper English! _**SOMEONE JUST SHOOT ME FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!**_

...And now iTunes is acting strange... WHY DOES MY COMPUTER ALWAYS DO THIS IN THE WINTER?! It never fails, once the cold weather comes around, my computer starts screwin' with me!

vvv

"YANAGIIIIIIIIIII!" Obito screeched. I sighed irritatedly and looked up from my book just as my brother came barreling through my bedroom door, a bath towel wrapped around his waist and sopping wet.

I sighed again, this time in exasperation, and threw my left arm over my eyes, pointing towards my personal bathroom with my right hand, "Underneath the counter." I said dully. It was pretty bad that this was a common occurrence in our house. Both Obito and I had come to an agreement that each of us were in charge of our own expenses and that the only time we pooled our money together on was if it influenced both of us. That being said, my brother had a nasty habit of forgetting to buy more shampoo.

Nii-san had just better thank his lucky stars that I didn't like girly scented hair products.

Still I got a nice deal out of it. Every time Obito forgot about shampoo, he bought me a bag of candy. One thing the both of us had in common was our unnatural sweet tooth. Most of the Uchiha clan had a sweet tooth as well, but no where near as bad as mine and Obito's. Candy was a part of my brother's and my necessities whereas it was only a treat to the rest of the clan.

While my brother cursed and rummaged around in my bathroom I called out, "I'm leaving early in the morning."

Nii-san's voice was suddenly clearer, meaning he probably had come back into my room, "Why? You're not going on a date are you?"

If my eyes were open I would have rolled them. Only my brother would automatically assume that I was going on a date. I bet he wondered if I was going on a date every time I stepped outside the house. "No. I have to teach teamwork to my group of genin brats. You know how that is."

"You failed your test if I remember." Obito teased. It was true, I had gotten so irritated with the dead last of my graduating class, who had been on my team, that I actually punched his lights out even though our sensei told us not to attack each other. I was sent back to the academy immediately and had to wait another year. Really it was the idiot's fault, he shouldn't have assumed that since I was eight and he was twelve that he knew more than me. Because of that jerk, I had to graduate at the age of nine.

"And you are probably the only one who passed with flying colors. It's rare not to fail the first time you know..." I growled back at Obito.

The one eyed Uchiha snorted, "You're just hoping that those kids fail, aren't you?"

"Would you go finish your shower?"

"You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!" Obito ran out of my room, his footsteps fast and light, before I could even cock my elbow back to launch my book at him. Damn it, I hated it when he had the sense to get the hell out of dodge!

I sighed and marked my place before setting the book down on my nightstand. I would have to get up early tomorrow morning so I could train a few brats, which meant my late night habits were probably gone for good. Pouting slightly I turned off my lamp and rolled over, pulling my covers up to my chin.

Just as I was beginning to drift off, I heard a crash followed immediately by, "DAMN IT! YANAGI GET IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS MESS UP!"

I glared at the wall my bed was pushed up against. I seemed to forget that my night owl tendencies weren't of my own making. My brother, curse him, forced me into the habit. I threw back the covers and yelled back, "Alright you big crybaby! If you weren't so incompetent, I'd make you do it yourself!"

I'm sure the rest of the Uchiha clan could hear us yelling at each other all night long.

vvv

The moment five a.m. hit, my three precious genin showed up. Hinata and Naruto stumbling with weariness while Sasuke was wide awake and alert. Point for the Uchiha. I glanced at them, "You're on time." I said mildly. Naruto grinned despite his exhaustion, he seemed pleased at the compliment. I bookmarked the book I was reading and stood from my place on the ground, tucking away the blue bound slim book. "Which means... you're late."

Cue the confusion on all three of the preteens' faces. It made my day.

I held up a finger, "First rule of ninja: Timing is everything. When out on the field, an enemy might set a trap for you. If you were to arrive before he does, then you have the advantage. Same goes for tardiness, being late will lower your enemy's caution and thus give you an opening." I could not believe I was lecturing these brats, that was the Hokage's job! I glared down at the genin in front of me, letting a little killer intent slip through so they were frightened enough, "But if you ever alive late while in my team I'll skin you alive! Understood?"

"H-hai, sensei!" All three of the brats stuttered out, balking under my gaze. I felt proud that even someone like Sasuke was effected. But then, I had heard that he was more of a softie than his brother.

Straightening I smiled, no doubt scaring them out of their wits with my sudden change in mood, perfect. "Okay, then we'll start the mission."

Naruto dropped his scared expression like a hot tin plate and immediately leapt forward, "What's the mission? What's the mission? What? What? What?" He was actually bouncing around in his excitement. When he got too close to me I pressed my fingers to his forehead like Obito did to me and sent him to the ground.

"You're going on a treasure hunt."

"_Really?!_ That is so cool! Is it some long lost diamond? Or a cursed ruby? Oh! Did a princess lose her crown and we're having to look for it?!" Did this kid never shut up? I made a mental note to grab Obito's numbing salve. Maybe it would numb the Kyuubi brat's mouth enough that he couldn't talk.

I poked him in the forehead again, "No... you don't get to know what the object is, that's the point of the exercise. Here are some clues you can use to figure the object out." I passed out plain white envelopes to the three genin. Before they could rip into them and start the 'mission' I continued, "you must find the object by noon or you get no lunch. Also, the last person to find the object will fail and goes back to the academy."

More confusion, and some despair from Naruto about the time limit, "W-w-w-what do y-y-yo-you m-me-mean, s-s-s-sen-sensei?" Hinata stuttered out.

Naruto was squinting his eyes up again, "Yeah? What's this about failing?! We're already genin, you can't send us back to the Academy!" He moved his Haiti-ate to reflect the rising sun to prove his point.

I gave him a cruel smile, "Oh can't I? Let me explain then. Of the twenty-seven graduates, only nine will be accepted as genin. The other eighteen will not make the cut and be sent back to the academy. Your chance at _staying_ genin is at least thirty-four percent, and it's all up to me." Of all their reactions, Naruto's was the best. His eyes bugged out in surprise and his mouth dropped to the ground. Hinata just started swaying where she sat, as if she were about to faint, and Sasuke glared at me.

Sasuke was the smart one and asked, "Alright, how do we convince you to let us stay genin?"

"By passing this little mission I'm telling you about. Now stop interrupting or I'll fail you anyway." I couldn't really do that, but the genin didn't know that. Until they actually passed my test, if they did, I was going to milk the threat of sending them back to the academy for all its worth.

I waited for a moment to see if they would say anything, and when they didn't I continued, "You can fight each other for the clues, since all three are needed to figure out just what the item is. Also, once you figure out the object, you need to _find_ it next and present it to me. And I'll be nice since you are just kids," They relaxed slightly, or more than slightly in Naruto's case, "if you best me in battle, I'll tell you what and where the object is," Cue the tensing back up again. "Remember: you have to figure out the clues and find the object all before noon or I will tie you to something and eat lunch in front of you. Ready... begin!"

As I predicted the blonde idiot came charging after me, his fist raised with a pathetic battle cry. I rolled my eyes and kicked him away easily, sending him crashing into a tree. Hinata and Sasuke had already leapt out of sight, probably to figure out the clues on their own. I knew that Sasuke was too stubborn to figure out the object of the test, he would want to find the object with only the one clue I had given him just to prove himself. Hinata... she was a wild card. The Hyuuga heiress could either figure out the point of this exercise or she could be like Sasuke and try to accomplish things on her own.

Naruto however... I had thrown in the option to attack me solely for his benefit. I knew the knucklehead would attack me, his overconfidence would get in his way. Besides I had entertainment while I waited for lunch.

**vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv**

When he was far enough away from Yanagi-sensei, Sasuke halted and pulled the envelope out of his shorts' pocket. He frowned down at the slip of paper.

_Tis erhe, uoy othrebhos-me diiot. Htis odec si oto arhd rfo yuo._

The message was just a bunch of scrabbled letters. Clearly Yanagi-sensei knew that Sasuke would be able to decode the message, it was a simple scramble code that any three year old could figure out. Quickly the midnight blue haired Uchiha set to work. The hyphen in the fourth word threw him for a moment, until he realized Yanagi had probably put it in there for that purpose. What the message actually said made Sasuke pissed.

_Sit here, you botherso-me idiot. This code is too hard for you._

What kind of clue was that?!

**vvv 3rd Person~ Hinata vvv**

When Yanagi-sensei said begin, Hinata immediately dove for cover in the underbrush of the forest surrounding the training ground. She watched in fascination as Naruto-kun lashed out at their sensei bravely, and then in horror when Yanagi-sensei kicked the blonde boy away with ease. Hinata had contemplated in helping Naruto, but she was too weak to stand up to a jounin, especially one who was so cruel.

Instead the timid little Hyuuga heiress pulled out her clue and read over it.

_Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear._

Hinata blinked. It was a riddle, and a hard one by the looks of it. Hinata's clue could mean anything! Anything that was tall and not a tree, that is. Maybe if she got the other clues it would help, but she didn't want to attack her teammates! Hinata wouldn't last a second against Sasuke, and she wasn't going to attack Naruto for no reason.

The pale eyed girl glanced back at her sensei as the Uchiha woman once again threw Naruto over her shoulder and laughed as he struggled to his feet. There was something missing, something that Yanagi had said. _'The last person to find the object is failed and goes back to the academy.'_ Hinata frowned. If that were true, it would be better for all three of them could find the object together so no one was first or last.

Hinata gasped as realization dawned on her, that was what Yanagi wanted! Sensei was pitting the team against each other purposefully to see if anyone could figure out that the point was teamwork! That was why Team 7 was allowed to attack each other, to push the thoughts of teamwork further away. Yanagi had said that they would need all three clues to figure out the object they were trying to find, it was the only hint that Yanagi-sensei had given them.

Now if Hinata could only work up her courage to tell her findings to the two boys in her team. The Hyuuga girl whimpered a little at the thought. They could try and attack her before she even had a chance to explain.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

I smiled when I heard Hinata gasp. So she must have figured it out. My respect meter inched up a few pegs for the girl. She didn't have any male ego or pride to get in her way of thoughts. Still, what she would do now, that was the question.

"YAAAAAAAAA! Don't get distracted, sensei!" Naruto yelled multiple times from his shadow clone jutsu. I rolled my eyes and made a few quick hand signs with precision. I took a deep breath then blew between my thumb and forefinger. With a roar, the great fireball jutsu took out all shadow clones in front of it.

I felt something hard connect with my back and I stumbled forward with a grunt, losing my concentration on the fireball. Cursing I started to turn my head to look over my shoulder at the little brat. He caught me off guard! Not even Obito in his pranking moods could accomplish that feat. Angry, I reached up and pulled the Kyuubi brat off of my back and flung him across the clearing.

Naruto somehow was joyful in spite of being thrown a great distance, "Ha! I got a hit! Now tell me what the object is and where it is!"

"No."

"WHAAAAT?! You said you would if I won!" Naruto shrieked.

I glared at him, "I said if you beat me in battle. You only landed a hit," I slowly started walking towards him. It stung my pride, both as an Uchiha and jounin, that some little blonde haired brat was able to land a hit on me. I wasn't really known for taking blows and turning the other cheek. Towering over the little genin I spoke, my tone, which had been amused until now, had a sharp cutting edge to it, "you rush in blindly and attack without strategy. That blow was a lucky shot, and it won't happen again."

Turning away from the kid I waved a hand, "Now, stop wasting my time and try to figure out that clue of yours." I shunshined away before Naruto could attack, as I knew he probably would.

**vvv 3rd Person~ Naruto vvv**

Damn that frizzy haired lady! Naruto pouted and crossed his arms, it wasn't fair! He should have won, but his sensei was too stubborn to admit her defeat at his hands. Naruto could tell by the look on her face that the blow had taken her by surprise. If she hadn't reacted as quickly as she did, Frizzy-sensei would be on the ground!

Naruto yanked out the clue from his jumpsuit and ripped the envelope open. Maybe the clue was super easy and he could guess it immediately. The look on Yanagi-sensei's face would be hilarious when Naruto showed up with the object before lunch. Naruto chuckled to himself as he imagined the expression of complete surprise and awe.

_My eyes glow red when I am mad or threatened._

…What?! What did that mean? Was this some kind of insane creepy riddle that he had to figure out?! Was the object a vampire or something? Naruto had heard that some vampire's eyes glowed red when they drank blood. Naruto began to panic a little, he didn't want to fight a vampire! He had hard enough time beating Yanagi-sensei.

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!_

Naruto was torn between feeling relief and despair that the alarm had gone off. Now he wouldn't have to face the vampire, but–his stomach growled and Naruto groaned, remembering that Yanagi said no lunch for the person who hadn't found the vampire.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"The three of you are a... Bunch. Of. _Idiots!_" I shouted when all three genin lined up at the starting point. I was crying on the inside at the stupidity of the team I had been saddled with. Why was the only one to figure out the mission the shyest? I hadn't even done the bell test, which was probably the hardest teamwork exercise, like Kakashi-san usually did. In fact, I had given Team 7 the easiest and they still failed!

Hinata was the only one looking abash. Naruto looked miserable, probably had something to do with the sounds his stomach was making, and Sasuke glared at me hotly. If I wasn't in such a foul mood I would have asked if he liked my clue to him.

I paced in front of them, "I practically _told_ you this treasure hunt was a teamwork exercise, but you all are too stupid to see that!" I spun to face the team and zeroed in on Sasuke's petulant face, "Sasuke, you were too busy trying to succeed with your one clue you seemed to forget that you needed _all three_ of the clues to find the object."

Naruto got over his starving state to laugh at the slightly pouting Sasuke, "Ha ha! Teme you're so stupid!"

I glared at the blond, "You, Naruto, are probably the stupidest of the three." I snapped.

"Hey!"

"You were too busy trying to fight me to even pay attention to your clue. Had I not practically ordered you to, I doubt you would have even looked at it! I am a jounin, you dumbass, I cannot be taken down so easily by a genin. You're actions were lazy and stupid." I growled menacingly. Naruto had the smarts not to say anything. I glared at the team as a whole again, "Hinata was the only one to figure out that this exercise was teamwork driven, but she was too much of a coward to tell you two idiots!"

Naruto leapt to his feet, "Hey! Don't call Hinata a coward! She's just shy." The blonde defended. I noticed that Hinata's blush turned darker almost immediately. I spared her a curious glance despite my anger, such a strange child she was. Not only was Hinata extremely shy and weak for a clan kid, but she also seemed to have a major crush on Naruto of all people.

Still, I was glad I didn't have a squealing Sasuke fangirl on my hands.

While distracted with my thoughts, Sasuke stood up to, "You should not pick on the shyest of the team simply because she poses no resistance to you." He said, rather calmly, but I could tell by the way his dark eyes glittered that my little cousin was about as pissed as Naruto. Hinata looked between her two teammates, seemingly surprised that she was being defended by the both of them.

I raised a cool eyebrow, "Oh? Then what should I do, let her grow up as a shy coward perhaps?" I asked mildly.

Sasuke gave me a rather impressive version of the infamous Uchiha Glare, "If anyone is the coward it's you. You spend your time picking on twelve year olds."

"Well I can't really yell at your father or the Hokage, Duckass, so deal with it." I said dully. The three genin looked a little confused since they didn't know why exactly I was forced into this. Nor would they ever unless the case called for it. The near disaster that almost ended in the massacre of the Uchiha clan had been classified as an S-level secret, along with Naruto's jinchuuriki status. None of the younger generation, not even those of the Uchiha clan, knew about our planned revolt or that Itachi and Shisui stopped it. They didn't know that this whole team was an experiment to see if an Uchiha could effectively teach Konoha genin.

"Whatever. You still are all idiots for not figuring out that teamwork is important or doing nothing about it." I said, waving a hand to dismiss the subject. I _really_ didn't need to go into that, or I'd be killed for spilling the beans.

Naruto titled his head, "Why is teamwork important? Wouldn't people just hold you back?"

I couldn't help but reach over and swat the brat upside the head. After listening to his protests for half a second, I did the same thing to shut him up and spoke before he could start yelling at me in renewal, "Teamwork is essential to everything. They don't hold you back, a team is family. Had you got together and shared the clues, you would have easily figured out the object."

"W-w-w-w-w-w-wha-what i-is-is the o-o-o-obj-obj-ect?" Oh great, yelling at Hinata seemed to make her stutter more. Just my luck.

I smiled for the first time since the timer went off. "I'm the object." Cue the three stunned faces.

My little cousin frowned, "How does my clue point towards you? You just insulted me." I was surprised that Naruto hadn't laughed, but one look at the blonde genin revealed that he was paling at a rabid pace. Soon the Kyuubi brat would be as pale as Sasuke and Hinata.

" 'Sit here, you bothersome idiot. This code is too hard for you.' That is the clue, correct?" I asked. Sasuke nodded, suspicion leaking into his eyes. I gave him a close eyed grin, "Did you happen to notice that 'bothersome' had a hyphen?" Another nod of confirmation. "I told you the code was too hard, and I was right."

"There was no code." Sasuke said stubbornly.

Shaking my head I held up a finger, "Technically there was, but I knew that–as an Uchiha–you would over think things. If you had simply looked at where the hyphen was placed you would notice that 'me' had been separated from 'bothersome'. Really, the answer if quite obviously stupid when you think about it."

Sasuke actually facepalmed and I genuinely laughed when he did so.

I turned my attention back on the team as an whole and held up one finger, "I already explained Sasuke's clue. It was the most obvious, too obvious to tell the truth." I held up a second finger, "Hinata's clue was a little more difficult. 'Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear.' I am extremely tall for a woman. Naruto's clue-"

"Are you a vampire?!" Naruto chose then to shout, his eyes wide as he pointed an accusing finger at me. I blinked at him as did Sasuke and even Hinata.

"...What?"

"You're a vampire, aren't you! Are you going to drink out blood?!"

"And where did you get that silly notion?"

"The clue!"

"What?!" I stared at the blonde kid. Granted his clue was a little creepy but still, how did he get vampire out of glowing red eyes?

Naruto seemed to suddenly notice the looks his teammates were giving him. A blush marred his cheeks lightly and he ducked his head, "The uh... the clue. It said that your eyes glow red..." He mumbled.

The younger Uchiha actually took pity on Naruto, "That's the Uchiha Kekke Genkai. Our eyes turn red sometimes to help in battle." Sasuke explained. I was glad he didn't go in depth. There had once been a time when the sharingan was a clan secret, but after so many years it just became common knowledge. Still, the Uchiha didn't like explaining their Kekke Genkai unless absolutely necessary, that way there was less people trying to steal it.

"...oh..."

I sighed and shook my head, "You need to stop watching whatever it is you watch..." I said sadly. Then I grinned, this one full of evil intent. The genin hunkered down, obviously knowing that we were about to return to the failed exercise, "now... we're going to try this again, but it won't be as easy as the treasure hunt." I said and waited for one of the genin to ask what I was planning for them to do.

Finally Sasuke was the one who dared to ask, "What is it?"

My grin grew wider, "You're going to prank my brother, Uchiha Obito."

I was very pleased the way Sasuke's skin turned a unhealthy pale color. If I thought he was pasty before, it was nothing compared to this. I was nearly shivering in excitement. Maybe having a genin team was fun after all, if I could get away with pranking the Uchiha Prankster.

^o^

I don't know who I should feel sorry for... Obito or Team 7...

BTW: Did anyone see the nod to a certain hidden village that Sasuke defects to in the cannon? If not go read again... look especially close to any clues... *whistles innocently* 9.9

**~Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says..'Oh sh*t...she's awake'**

For some reason I have a feeling that I'm going to get flames for this chapter... I just think it's badly written. Of course that could be the pre-publish jitters or whatever. Also I hope I got Naruto's character right. Writing a hyperactive character when I'm used to writing subdued ones is kinda hard.

FLAME FRIENDLY!


	5. Why Never to Prank Obito

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Hmmm... I seem to be writing this chapters rather quickly... I've been writing a chapter a day lately. Of course I've been neglecting my other stories to do so, but I want to build up as much stockpile on this story before I start publishing... although since you're reading this that means that I have stockpiled enough and... whatever, I'm just Fluff Mastering again... I am very concerned that this might be a regular occurrence.

Speaking of Fluff Mastering, I am the master of BSing a paper, and I'm very proud of my skill. A little tip for you people who struggle to make the essay length requirements: Never shorten a sentence, and find out long synonyms of short words. Repeat a sentence or two to 'ram the idea home'; but be sure you reword it, don't repeat a sentence verbatim. Above all else: DO NOT OVER DO IT! Your teacher will catch on and then you'll get into even bigger trouble.

BTW: Little unknown fact. Having insomnia isn't having the ability to stay awake for 24 hours without fail. It's STAYING AWAKE FOR _**OVER**_ 24 HOURS AND STILL NOT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP!

vvv

"Who put you in charge, Teme?" Naruto whined the minute Sasuke tried to start planning their prank on his cousin.

Sasuke glared at the blonde, "Obito is my cousin, I know his reputation." The Uchiha boy said simply.

"Ha! But I'm a prankster, so I should know what to do!"

"You have no idea what Obito is capable of."

"So what?! Doesn't make you the leader!"

I sighed exasperated and pinched the bridge of my nose. I should have known that the two boys were going to develop some kind of rivalry. Every team did it, even myself and one of my genin teammates had one. Although it was my teammate who was under the delusion that we had a rivalry, I had no interest in being a rival to anyone– especially not a civilian brat. I simply played along for the entertainment of watching the guy fail time and time again.

If I remember correctly he retired from his shinobi career after losing the Chuunin Exams to me.

As my two students continued to argue who should be the leader, I glanced down at the fidgeting Hyuuga heiress standing beside me, almost behind me. I guess it was time for some 'sensei-student' bonding time. "Hinata." The girl looked up at me, her pale eyes wide with obvious fright. Mentally I sighed, maybe calling her a coward earlier was a bit much.

"Y-y-yes, sensei?" She managed to stutter out, pressing her two forefingers together in a nervous habit.

I swatted her hands down, "Stop that. First rule of being a kunoichi: don't show nervousness." Hinata gripped her hands together behind her back, like a small child being scolded and nodded in a jerking manner, "Second, I'm putting you on teamwork duty. While the three of you are out pranking my brother, you're going to keep the boys from killing each other. Consider it your first lesson in asserting yourself."

Hinata paled and she looked down at her feet. I could see that she was gripping her hands tightly, as if she were trying to talk her courage up. I sighed and tapped the bottom of her chin, bringing her gaze to meet mine.

"You will get over this nervous habit of yours, Hyuuga. Shy little kids don't make it in this career." I said sternly. Hinata nodded quickly and I rolled my eyes. I was starting to wonder if she was only nodding so I would stop talking to her. "You can start by breaking those two up now." I said and pointed at Sasuke and Naruto as they got in each other face.

Hesitatingly Hinata shuffled towards the two fighting boys. I watched her closely as she neared Naruto and Sasuke, analyzing her ever move. "E-excuse me..." She said in a whisper. Of course the boys didn't hear her over their own loud voices.

I groaned. Seems this was going to be harder than I thought. Putting my two index fingers to my mouth, I whistled loudly, making everyone in the vicinity cringe. My genin looked at me and I glared back, "Alright, pansies, if there's going to be that much of a fuss over team leader, I'll pick. Hinata is the leader," Oh I would enjoy the looks of surprise from the three preteens for years to come. Still, before I could visualize those expressions again, I had to lay down ground rules, "She's also the person who's going to make sure you two don't fight. For this 'mission' to go successfully, you have to work together _and be quiet!_ Any questions?" I didn't give them enough time to ask before I was continuing, "Good. Now when you're done, you can go home."

"How do you know if we pass or not?" Sasuke asked, a frown pulling his thin eyebrows low over his eyes.

Grinning evilly, I tapped him on his Haiti-ate, "Trust me, I'll know. Good luck~! You're going to need it."

**vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv**

The second Yanagi-sensei disappeared, Sasuke turned to his two teammates, "We need a plan of attack. Cousin Obito won't be an easy target." He said. There was no way Sasuke would be able to retain his cool if he didn't think of this stupid childish test as an actual mission.

Naruto glared at him, "Hey! Hinata is the leader! Stop trying to usurp her command!" Hinata blushed and looked away quickly, her whole face red. Sasuke rolled his eyes, it took him by surprise that the dobe hadn't caught on to Hinata's affections by now.

"I'm surprise you even know what 'usurp' means." Sasuke commented drily. Naruto pulled a hateful face, the corner of his mouth twitching in frustration.

"G-guys! Please d-don-don't fight!" Hinata interrupted before Naruto could respond. Both boys looked away with equal sour looks. There were a few minutes of silence before Hinata spoke again, "S-S-Sas-Sasuke-san. W-what w-w-w-were you say-saying?"

The Uchiha glanced at his female teammate, it wasn't often that any girl added the honorific -san to his name, most of the time it was -kun. Sasuke liked the change. Ignoring Naruto's pout, Sasuke explained his plan on pranking his older cousin.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"Yeah, so since I couldn't do the same test twice, I made them work on something completely different." I said to Kakashi as we both sat in the shade of some random tree, boredly watching Asuma and his three new genin. We both had free time, since Kakashi already failed his team and mine were currently trying to impress me.

Kakashi hummed as he read his favorite book of all time for the millionth time, "So what are they doing...?" He asked distractedly.

"Pranking Obito." I got a laugh when Kakashi nearly fell out of the tree branch he was lounging in. Quickly, too quickly for my liking, Kakashi managed to catch himself and prevent a blackmail worthy moment.

"He's going to kill you."

"That's why I'm hanging out with you," I said jokingly, "You love me too much to let my big bad brother murder me."

I only got a sigh from the Copy-nin. I knew what was going on in his mind. "You put up with me because I'm the only person in the universe who can get Obito to stop annoying you. Besides, I have years worth of blackmail on you." I answered his unasked question.

Kakashi gave me a dry look, "You're incorrigible." He grumbled. I laughed at him. Of all people in Konoha, Kakashi was probably the only one I truly got along with. One could say that I saw Kakashi as another brother, only I liked this one more than my blood brother. I liked to think that he saw me as a little sister.

He teased me like one.

The white haired jounin leaned closer to me and gave me his famous eye-smile, "And I have plenty blackmail over you too." He said cheerfully.

Glaring I crossed my arms, "Shut up." I grumbled, not wanting to talk anymore. I felt a finger poke my cheek and I whipped around to snap at it, but like always Kakashi pulled back before I could dig my teeth in his finger.

"Your crush on me was so cute! Of all my fangirls, you were probably my favorite." Kakashi teased.

My glare intensified until I was giving him a full Uchiha Glare. Having been a teammate with a hothead like my brother and being Kakashi in general, of course he was immune to it. Damn man. "That was only a brief time, it was a phase I went through you idiot. Hero worship!" I defended myself hotly.

Kakashi leaned back, satisfied that he had riled me up, and took his book out again, "Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll actually believe it one day."

I crossed my arms and slouched against the tree trunk, "I'm going to sell your Icha Icha novels, jerk."

"I keep them in a safe."

"What? You're not still mad that I burned your last series, are you?"

"..._yes_..."

"You should have listened to Obito then. He tried to warn you." I said dismissively, shrugging as if burning his books were inevitable. Which, considering my undying hatred for the perverted novels, it kind of _was_ inevitable.

"Like I'd ever trust anything Obito would say." Kakashi growled, probably remembering one of the many instances where trusting the Uchiha Prankster got Kakashi into trouble. I grinned mentally, remembering a few memories myself. Poor Kakashi had to learn what all Uchiha knew the hard way.

"I'm pretty sure that when it comes to Icha Icha, Obito means every word he says." I said drily. There were two things Kakashi and Obito had in common: their habit of tardiness and their creepy obsession with the Icha Icha series.

Kakashi snorted and crossed his arms, the closest thing he'd ever get to pouting, "He also likes to spoil the new books."

I held up my hands as if to defend myself and screwed my eyes up, "I don't want to know _anything_ that goes on in those smutty books of yours! You and my brother can keep your perverseness to yourselves!" I snapped.

My brother figure glanced at me, his single visible eye full of mischief. Well crap, I just dug myself into a hole. Kakashi opened his mouth, or at least I assumed by the way his face mask moved, to speak but someone beat him to it.

"Are you two going to distract my team all day or what?"

Kakashi and I looked down from our perches to see Asuma standing at the base of the tree giving us a rather stern look, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Behind him, his three genin were watching us curiously. If I remember correctly, the blonde girl was one of Sasuke's more adamant fangirls, but I wasn't for sure. Kakashi only dipped his head in greeting and buried his nose in his dirty orange book.

"Sorry, Asuma" I said, but my tone wasn't apologetic. Asuma may be more powerful and older than me, but I was still an Uchiha. Arrogance was a hereditary trait that my clan was born with. I didn't respect anyone unless they absolutely deserved it. Kakashi, without looking up from his book, swatted me in the back of my head.

I glared at him, but before I could say anything Asuma spoke again, "Could you take your argument somewhere else?" Even though the Sarutobi had asked it as a question, both Kakashi and I knew it was an order.

Without saying a word, Kakashi stood and threw me over his shoulder like he used to when I was a kid. "Hey! Let me go, you scarecrow!" I shouted in indignity, but of course he ignored me.

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"Shisui have you seen Yanagi?" An irritated voice asked. Both Itachi and Shisui turned around to face Obito. To their complete surprise he was covered head to toe in honey; stray coils of ninja wire still wrapped around random places of his body.

Shisui blinked, "Uh... Obito-senpai? What happened to you?" The Uchiha with long eyelashes asked, shocked to see his former Konoha Police mentor so... gooey.

Obito was too busy glaring past the two men at the third in their company, who was trying to act as casual as he could. Itachi and Shisui followed the older Uchiha's gaze to Sasuke. Itachi frowned a little, obviously making the connection between Obito's honeyed state and his little brother's poorly accomplished innocent expression. "Sasuke, did you do this?" The Uchiha Prodigy asked in a passive voice.

Sasuke, who could never lie when around his brother, looked down guiltily. Everyone could practically feel Obito's killer intent spike. Itachi dropped his stoic facade to glare at his cousin, not liking the potential threat to his little brother.

Shisui on the other hand was staring at Sasuke with his head tilted. He really couldn't understand why Sasuke would do something like that, especially when it was uncalled for. As far as Shisui knew, Obito and Sasuke had never talked except in passing. And any Uchiha would have to be insane to actually prank the Uchiha Prankster.

"Where. Is. Yanagi?" Obito growled at Sasuke. Itachi twitched, obviously wanted to step between Obito and his brother, but refrained. Neither would appreciate his interference. And Itachi really didn't want to suffer through another prank of Obito's.

He was still finding feathers in his room from all those damn chickens.

Sasuke stared defiantly up at Obito, obviously not scared of the goofiest Uchiha. Shisui had to admit that the kid had guts. Obito was one hot tempered Uchiha, only bested by his younger sister Yanagi. Hell, when Yanagi was on a rampage even Shisui stayed well out of her warpath. That woman had no respect for anyone, not her brother and guardian, not her clan leader... there were times when Shisui doubted that even the Hokage received Yanagi's respect.

"Kakashi, put me down damn it!"

Well speak of the devil.

Shisui grinned as Obito spun in his gooey glory to glare at Yanagi thrown over Kakashi's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The young woman struggled even harder when she spied her brother, "You little traitor. I'm going to burn your whole house down now!"

"Go right ahead, my books are in a fire proof safe." Kakashi returned drily before dumping Yanagi on the ground right in front of her glaring brother. Yanagi crossed her arms and glared right back at him. Shisui smiled at the sight of the two siblings glaring, they were so different from Itachi and Sasuke.

"I've got a perfectly good reason." Yanagi said defensively before Obito could get a word in.

"Oh I would _love _to hear this." Her brother growled back.

"My genin are idiots, but they're idiots who pass."

Itachi and Shisui exchanged slightly confused confused looks. They were both wondering the same thing, where in the world did Yanagi's genin team–Shisui didn't even know she had one–came into play with Sasuke pranking Obito?! Shisui caught Sasuke glaring hotly at Yanagi from behind Itachi and then it clicked.

Shisui laughed, bringing all attention to him, "Was this your teamwork building exercise, Yagi?" He asked, highly amused. As he suspected, Yanagi immediately clammed up the moment she saw Shisui. He should have known that Yanagi would use the excuse of teaching her genin teamwork to prank her brother.

^o^

Meh. I could continue the chapter, but I don't feel like it. And I really hate how this chapter came out, it's basically crack... :\

**~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.**

BTW, have you ever noticed that all villains in Naruto have some kind of sad tale? What on earth does Kishimoto have against a downright evil antagonist?! I mean, even Madara and Danzo get sad heartrending tales! The only people that I can think of who are evil to the core are Kakuzu, Hidan and maybe Zabuza (although he turned good in the end, so that doesn't count). Seriously, why must Kishimoto kill us with feels? It's not FAIR! (Pay no attention to me... I was rewatching Danzo vs. Sasuke... I forgot about the flashback at the end... –_.._–)

Flamers Welcome!


	6. Shisui and D-ranks are Not Pleasent

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Ever hate that feeling when you want to write, but you're just not in the mood at the same time? Yeah... congrats to me for feeling that way.

BTW: I seriously hope I get Anko's personality right...

So someone said they weren't too thrilled with the way Yanagi treats Hinata... trust me, there is a reason for it. You see, I'm really focusing on character development in this story. On top of that, Yanagi is classified as an Antihero, so it's really in character for her to be mean to Hinata. It'll all be sorted out, don'tchya worry! ^^ I just thought I'd point this out in case anyone else had mixed feelings about it.

You know, it's pretty bad when you read a book and you keep picking up on hints that you've read it before, but you can't remember for the life of you... that's when you know you read too much. XP

vvv

"..."

"...'Sup?"

"..."

"..."

There was a quiet, slightly awkward, cough, "Do they do this a lot?" I heard Kurenai ask, her tone one of concern.

My brother sighed beside me, "You have no idea..." He grumbled. Without looking I landed my elbow in his side, "OUCH! Yanagi, that hurts." Obito yelled at me. Oh how I wanted to make a snappy comment; however a certain jerk sitting beside me, grinning devilishly, was preventing me from doing so. I settled for a dark look.

Shisui's grin widened when I returned my glare to him, "Awww... I was hoping I'd catch you talking. I haven't heard your melodious voice in _forever~_" He teased. I just continued to glare at him. Shisui pouted and looked over my head at a now snickering Obito, "Obito-senpai, your imoto is being mean!"

I went to punch Shisui, but Obito hooked a hand around my elbow, "No." He said sternly. Obito always did like Shisui, so I was never allowed to hit him when my brother was around.

I narrowed my eyes at the most skilled Uchiha, trying to tell him with my eyes how lucky he was that my brother was here to stop me from punching Shisui's lights out. Shisui seemed to get my message and ruffled my hair like when we were younger as he stood up, "See ya, Yagi!" The nickname set my teeth on edge and I would have hit him again, if Obito hadn't already guessed my intentions and wrapped an arm around my torso, keeping me in my seat. Shisui gave me another grin before bowing politely to the elite jounin sitting around the table, then he shunshined away like he was never there.

Stickin' shunshin master...

I crossed my arms, "Damn Uchiha... I hate him." I growled when I couldn't feel his chakra anymore. Obito and Kakashi seemed to be the only ones amused by my silent treatment towards Shisui.

"But I thought you said you _didn't_ hate him, imoto." Obito interjected.

"I don't!"

"You just said you did a minute ago."

"..."

"What, are you giving me the silent treatment now?" Obito teased. I glared at him hotly, I hated older brothers; that I would readily admit to. Obito leaned closer, a grin similar to Shisui's on his face.

My glare intensified as I leaned back, trying to put more personal space between us. My brother knew I hated people evading my personal space, and he used it to his advantage, "Outta my face or I'm going to steal your candy stash again." I threatened. Like a spring, Obito was sitting straight again, sending me a dirty look. I grinned back at him, the tables had turned.

Kurenai sighed, more used to Obito and my antics than my silent treatment towards Shisui, "Would you two stop?" She asked, her tone someone managing to stay between polite and exasperated. Only the Yuhi woman could accomplish such a tone.

Kakashi scoffed from his corner of the booth, his eyes still on his smutty literature. At least Obito knew when to stop reading. "Getting those two to stop is like getting-"

I butted in before he could finish, "Getting you to stop reading your porn?" I drawled. When Kakashi gave me a one eyed glare I grinned at him. Asuma and Kurenai tried to hide their chuckles while Obito didn't even bother. Kakashi slowly bookmarked his place and put the book away, still glaring at me.

"I _was_ going to say getting you to stop antagonizing your team." Kakashi said in an irritated tone that he usually reserved for Obito when my brother was being particularly annoying.

I scoffed, "They're a bunch of pansies, they get what they deserve." It was a lame defense, but then again Fugaku hadn't really been thinking when he put me as Sasuke's sensei. It would be his fault if his youngest son was mentally scarred when I got through with him. "Besides," I continued with my nose in the air, "the worst thing I have done was scare the shit out of that class when I yelled at those Uchiha brats."

Kurenai giggled, "Yes, I heard about that from Kiba. He said you reminded him of his mother."

"Shikamaru thinks you're very 'troublesome' too. Ino and Chouji looked a little shaken up about the whole thing." Asuma added, "I can't imagine how your team feels having you as a sensei."

I glared at the Sarutobi, slightly insulted, "How they feel about me does not matter," I paused for a moment then said with a sneer, "but... I'm pretty sure they're scared shitless. Especially the Hyuuga girl."

Obito sighed, "You're going to be the worst sensei ever..." He mumbled, rolled his eyes. No one said anything, but I could tell they agreed with him. Bunch of lackluster faithless jerks if you ask me.

Pursing my lips I turned to Kakashi, "So, how bad did your almost team fail?" I asked, changing the subject.

Kakashi gave me a look that told me he knew exactly what I was trying to do, but answered anyway, "Miserably, though I might take the Uchiha kid on as a personal student. He was the only one smart enough to figure it out." Obito and I perked up at the mention of our clan name.

"Uchiha? Who?" Obito questioned, leaning towards his best friend/rival.

Kakashi shrugged, "Some kid named Netsui. He has a twin sister who was placed on another team."

My brother and I exchanged looks. We knew who Kakashi was talking about. Having twins in the clan was extremely rare, so Netsui and Nerai were considered something special. "Why didn't they place Nerai on your team, Kakashi-baka? Netsui and Nerai have a lot of combo attacks that could be useful." Obito commented. Kakashi only shrugged again and I rolled my eyes, seeing that he was reading Icha Icha under the table. I was sorely tempted to 'accidentally' spill my drink on Kakashi and see if I could ruin his book.

Before I could attempt anything, Anko suddenly appeared carrying a plate of dango, "Yo my bitches! What boring conversation are you- HEY!" Anko shouted when Obito and I simultaneously nabbed a dango stick from Anko's plate and stuffed them in our mouths before Anko could snatch them back. Everyone at the table sighed.

The snake mistress glared at us, "You're lucky that I love you two, or you'd be dead... _pigs_." She growled.

Kurenai shook her head, "You should know better than to bring sweets around Obito and his sister." She scolded lightly. Anko was still glaring at us as she grabbed her last dango stick and popped the first dumpling in her mouth. Kakashi was just giving the both of us dry looks that practically screamed, 'you nimrods'.

What can I say, when it came to anything containing sugar, Obito and I were on it like white on rice.

"Mm," I waved my now empty dango stick around as I chewed on the last dumpling. Swallowing I continued, "did you know that Sasuke doesn't like sweets?" I commented. The look of absolute horror on Obito's face was priceless. Anko, who was almost as bad of a sugar junkie as Obito and I, looked almost as horrified. The rest of the jounin were too busy trying not to laugh at Obito's expression, myself included.

"What Uchiha doesn't like sweets?!" Obito shouted, gaining a few looks from the patrons in the tea house where the six of us were relaxing.

I shrugged at my Nii-san's question, "Apparently the second son to Fugaku. I tried to be nice and share my candy with him yesterday, but he said he didn't like sweets." I got more surprised faces, but this time for a completely different reason.

"You... offered to share candy with someone?" Anko asked. There was a brief pause before she slapped her hand to my forehead, "Nope, you ain't got a fever. Were you blackmailed into doing it then?" I glared and slapped her hand away.

"Hey, I was trying to 'bond' with my students. With that hodgepodge of weirdos, I need to find some resemblance of sanity before I forget what it looks like." I snapped sarcastically. I then turned to glare at Asuma and Kurenai, "How well does your students get along with each other?" I asked, though I already knew what they were going to say.

The not-quite-yet-couple glanced at each other, probably silently communicating like the old married couple they should be. "Well..." Kurenai started hesitantly, "Kiba has some kind of one sided rivalry going on with Shino, but it's nothing too bad; and Sakura yells at Kiba a lot for being too... I think she said 'Naruto-like'." I snorted at that one. This Kiba brat must be annoying indeed if he was compared to _Naruto_.

Asuma shrugged when I turned to him, "Ino acts the same way as Sakura, she gets fed up with Shikamaru's lazy habits. She also tries to boss the boys around every so often, but Shikamaru and Chouji just go along with it. They're all very laid back."

"You lucky jerks." I whined.

Obito glared at me, "You're team seems to have good teamwork, stop complaining." My brother growled. I laughed at him. No doubt he was remembering yesterday and the honey. I'd still be in the doghouse if I hadn't thought ahead and bought Obito two weeks worth of candy. In our house, candy equaled instant forgiveness, no matter how bad the crime was.

"But they're still idiots. Hinata looks like she's going to faint half the time and Naruto is either trying to physically fight me or Sasuke. And Sasuke is trying to act cool and-" My eyes casually flicked up to the small clock hanging on the back wall of the tea shop. I stiffened when I realized the time. "Shit! My team has a mission!" I cursed and literally vaulted over my brother in my hurry to get away. The group of jounin laughed as I tore out of the tea house in a fury to beat my team to our meeting point.

The last thing I needed was my team complaining about me being late.

vvv

"You're late." Sasuke said dully when I came skidding to a halt five minutes before the time I had given my team. Luckily my cousin was the only one there. My biggest worry had been the loud mouth blonde. Naruto would never let me live it down if I had been late.

I glared at the navy haired Uchiha as I tried to catch my breath, "Not a... word." I panted.

Sasuke smirked, "What will I get out of it?" He asked smugly. Damn it, he was catching on.

"Name your price." I said in all seriousness.

My cousin's smirk grew wider, "I want to know why you won't talk to Shisui." Damn it all, this brat was learning too quick! I was expecting him to name his favorite food and make me buy it like Obito usually did, not information.

"HA! I'M EARLY, SO I'M NOT LATE!" Naruto shouted then as he came running up to us, saving me from a conversation I didn't want to have. By the looks of his disheveled state, it was clear that he would have been late if he hadn't hauled ass.

I looked around as was surprised to see Hinata standing slightly behind the two boys. I raised an eyebrow, I hadn't even noticed her come up. There was no way of knowing if she was early or on time. Mentally I made a note to bump up Hinata to more advance stealth training before I pulled out the mission scroll, "Okay, first D-ranked mission of the day is... babysitting twins."

I don't know who groaned louder: me or Naruto.

vvv

Naruto and I came to the mutual agreement to ditch the brats with Hinata and Sasuke. I was already struggling not to kill myself by just dealing with three preteens, I didn't need two five year olds to add to the list. Naruto just didn't like small kids in general.

Hinata, not surprisingly, took care of her brat quite well. The five year old seemed quite taken with the shy Hyuuga heiress. I was sorely tempted to make a comment about Hinata's future abilities at motherhood, but decided against it knowing she would just faint. Sasuke fared okay. After a few tantrums, the brat quieted down knowing that Sasuke wasn't going to deal with any of his crap. As Hinata and Sasuke wondered around Konoha with their kids in tow, Naruto and I followed behind them talking aimlessly about our favorite foods. When I said I didn't like ramen, Naruto nearly had a heart attack, which was amusing to Sasuke and I. The twins looked confused as to why Naruto was on the ground twitching while Hinata was stuttering up a storm trying to talk to the comatose blonde.

At noon we returned the twins to their parents and I dragged my team with me to clean Nekobaa's house. This time it was Hinata and Naruto that did all the work while Sasuke and I visited with the Uchiha weapons supplier. Nekobaa and I were mostly content in teasing Sasuke about his little paw challenge that Itachi-san had given him when they were younger. Sasuke didn't seem to mind all that much, though he did glare at me for quite a while. Naturally, being Uchiha, Sasuke and I were overrun by cats demanding for attention. Of course Naruto flubbed it up when, after seeing Sasuke and I casually petting the ever present cats, tried to pet one too.

I probably should have told him that only members of the Uchiha clan were allowed to touch the cats.

Needless to say, Naruto got his ass handed to him by a house cat. Hinata then did another swooning/stuttering episode as she tried to talk to the once again unconscious Naruto. Sasuke and I just enjoyed ourselves again.

After the mission with Nekobaa, I took my team to help clean out an old abandoned building that was going to be torn down soon. Hinata and I sat this mission out as the boys used their 'muscles' to move old rotten crates and other decrepit treasures that were buried in the corners of the warehouse. I tried to cure Hinata of her stuttering problem in that time, but I only succeeded in lessening how much she stuttered by a few seconds before Naruto once again caused disaster.

I tried to make the man who owned the building see the bright side: now he would have to pay the demolition teams anything, since Naruto flattened the building like a bug.

I'm still not sure how he did that...

At sunset I lead Team 7 back to the Missions Assignment Office to hand in the reports of the missions. Of all of them, the babysitting mission had gone the smoothest. It was the only one that didn't fail due to destruction of private property. I was starting to worry that all our missions would fail as bad. One lecture from the Hokage about mission effectiveness later, Hiruzen dismissed us and Team 7 dispersed into the growing dusk, each heading to their own home.

Sasuke and I walked back together in silence, far enough apart that we wouldn't brush up against each other as we walked. I was starting to get a feeling that this was going to be a regular thing.

"You never did tell me why you don't speak to Shisui." Sasuke commented out of the blue.

I glared into the distance. Damn it I had been hoping he had forgotten about that. When I didn't say anything he continued, "I asked Shisui yesterday, but he only laughed it off and changed the subject. Aniki said you two used to be good friends."

"What happened to the glaring boy who first introduced himself?" I asked dryly.

"He got curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

Sasuke finally glared at me before smirking, "And satisfaction brought it back."

I twitched in irritation. This kid had been hanging around Obito and Shisui too much if he was starting to quote those two goofballs. I started picking up my pace, making the Uchiha brat have to jog to keep up with me, "I don't have to explain anything to you. It's private."

Sasuke shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Fine. I'll tell Naruto that you were late today. I imagine he'll stop teasing you about it... when you're in your grave. Maybe not though."

It was hard resisting the urge to smack the boy upside the head like I would Nii-san or Shisui when they started blackmailing me. You don't blackmail the Blackmail Queen and get away with it, it was simply unheard of. I thought frantically of a way to get out of the mess I had created and cursed the fact that I didn't have any blackmail to hold over Sasuke.

Oh wait...

I smirked evilly down at him, enjoying the sight of Sasuke tensing up in anxiety. I already had the Uchiha brat trained so well, "Go ahead and tell Naruto," I started nonchalantly with a shrug of my own. My eyes gleamed as I grinned sadistically, "but don't come whining to me when people start asking if you and the blonde brat are dating... That kiss was so _romantic._ I wonder what your family will think."

My little cousin's complexion turned from white to green to red in under two seconds. I laughed loudly and reached down to ruffle his duckass hair, ignoring his rather impressive glare, "Never try to blackmail the Blackmail Queen, I have that nickname for a reason. I know every embarrassing secret about everyone. Now drop the subject and you'll maintain your dignity."

"I will find out one day." Sasuke said stubbornly.

I held out my hands, palms facing upwards, and shrugged to show how much I cared, "Sure... maybe you will." I said in a soothing tone, the kind that parents got when their child failed at something and was bawling their eyes out.

Another glare from the boy, "Don't patronize me."

"Then don't leave yourself open."

"You're annoying."

"I've heard it all before, brat. Keep it coming."

"Aniki says you don't respect anyone."

"I don't respect people for who they are born as. They _earn_ my respect." I snapped, a little more harshly than I intended.

Sasuke was silent after that, his young face hard with contemplation. I eyed the boy as we reached the Uchiha Compound. I knew Sasuke was smart–he should be after having a genius for an older brother–so it wasn't much of a surprise that he would think before he spoke. Still that expression on his face didn't belong on the twelve year old's face; one could hardly expect an adult to think so deeply, let alone a child. I did the only thing I could do.

I swatted him upside the head.

"HEY!" Sasuke yelped and glared at me as he rubbed the back of his head. I pulled my cousin in a choke hold and ground my first knuckle into his temple, like Obito used to do to me when I was younger.

"You're still a brat and I still don't like you, but stop trying to over think things. Didn't you learn anything from your first teamwork exercise?" I asked. Sasuke glared at me for the reminder about his understated 'clue'. I laughed and pushed in away from me, "Go home and bother your 'aniki,' brat." I said cheerfully and started to turn away before I remembered something.

"Oh..." I looked over my shoulder at Sasuke who froze on spot, probably thinking I was going to say something evil, "and if Shisui ever gives you trouble, just ask him about his nineteenth birthday." I said with a wink. I shunshined away, leaving the poor kid frowning in confusion.

^o^

Eh, I don't know where the last part came from... but I just don't want to rush into the series like the canon did. Seriously, episode 6 and already we're on the Land of Waves arc. I'm debating with going ahead and starting the Wave arc or filling the story out more... maybe I'll go with the latter and do some character development.

You know what I hate? When people who don't update a story for months (sometimes even years) because they're 'too busy'. I mean, yeah, I get it if it's a once in a while thing or whatever, I do it too; but _Every. Single. Time_ is just pushing it. If you're going to write a story and publish it on the internet for other people to read at least TRY to make an effort in publishing a chapter more than once a year! For instance: I am a full time college student with classes that demand a lot of my time (trust me they aren't easy), I also have a job. I like to read a lot and spend time with my family. Yet I **STILL** somehow find the time to focus on my stories so that I publish a chapter for a story once a week. Somehow I manage to do this, make 'A's and 'B's in college, focus on my job, read in my spare time, and remain in contact with my family so I'm not a total shut in. I'm not saying that everyone should write their stories religiously, but still at least try to make more of an effort before you start losing your readers' interest.

Meh, don't listen to me rant, it's not healthy kiddies.

**~It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?**

You ask why I welcome flames? BECAUSE I CAN ROAST MARSHMELLOWS OVER THEM AND MAKE S'MORSE! Also I'm a pyromaniac... that's also a thing. XD


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